The Game
by Moon-Dancer721
Summary: She's lost the will to live, but she's found that she can numb the mental pain with the physical pain. He's tired of pretending and want's to experience his last year at school as himself. DMHG
1. The Pain

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me!

The Game

Chapter 1: The Pain

Pain. That was what she felt. Not physical pain. No. That kind of pain she could handle. But it was the mental, emotional pain that she couldn't deal with. Physical pain could be given or taken away as quickly as a wave of her wand. The mental pain stayed with you though, no matter what, but she found that she could numb it with the physical pain.

She tried to be strong. She had to be strong. She was always the strong one. She kept it all inside never letting anyone see her cry. She hadn't cried once. Not at all. And this worried her friends. They thought, maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet. But it had. She remembered the day as clear as Professor Trelawney's damn crystal ball. The day the universe fell from its loosely tied strings and into the black abyss of nothing.

* * *

_She sat in Transfiguration, next to Harry, just before lunch. They were taking notes and she was listening intently to Professor McGonagall. A voice from the teacher's office interrupted the lesson. She was the only one who waited quietly for their instructor's return. The rest of the class was just glad to have a break from the lecturing. McGonagall returned a moment later and walked directly towards Hermoine._

"_Miss Granger," She said, bending to speak quietly to her student. "The Headmaster wishes to see you in his office. The password is 'butterscotch.' I believe you know where his office is?"_

_Hermoine nodded and gathered her things wondering what could be so important as to pull her out of class when there were still more notes to write. She could hear Ron mumble, 'Lucky' as she left. _

_The whole walk there she tried to figure out what it was the Headmaster wanted to see her for. She was almost positive she hadn't done anything wrong. What if she was failing a class? But she knew that couldn't be possible. It was the longest walk of her life and when she finally reached the stone gargoyle she felt as if she had been walking for years._

_In the Headmaster's office, Hermoine found Albus Dumbledore sitting at his desk, his fingertips placed together and his chin resting on top of them. Something was wrong, she could tell, for the sparkling twinkle of his eyes was missing. She felt something squeeze her heart and it skipped a beat._

"_Headmaster?" She asked, hesitantly. "You wished to see me?"_

"_Yes, Miss Granger, please have a seat." He motioned to the chair before his desk. "I'm afraid what I have to say isn't good news."_

_Hermoine sat down and waited for what was to come._

"_This morning," Dumbledore started off slowly. "Your parents were found dead in their house." Hermoine's breath caught in her throat. "The green mark of the Dark Lord was floating above the house."_

"_Oh, God." Hermoine breathed. "No."_

"_I am deeply sorry, Miss Granger." He said, and was quiet for a moment. "A team of Aurors are there now fixing everything so the Muggles won't be frightened."_

"_Can- can I go there?" She asked._

"_Of course, a portkey has already been prepared for you. The Aurors are expecting you." The wizard handed her an empty bottle of what used to contain butterbeer. _

_Hermoine took hold of it and soon felt a tug from behind her naval and she was gone from the Headmaster's office. She stumbled as she landed. She stood up and took in her surroundings. There were wizards running in and out of her house. Although it was noon, the sky was cloudy and gray. The smell of death was so strong it filled her lungs so she couldn't breath. She choked on the air and began coughing._

_She felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw that it was Tonks._

"_Hermoine?" Hermoine nodded. "I am so sorry." Tonks whispered to her. _

_Hermoine looked down and nodded her head again. "Do you… know what happened?" She asked, softly._

"_We have an idea." Tonks replied, putting her hand on Hermoine's back and leading her closer to the house. "Would you like to see them?"_

_Hermoine shuddered and took a deep breath. She didn't want to, but she knew she had to see them for this to be real. "Yes." She whispered._

_Tonks nodded and changed their direction slightly. "Here you go. We'll leave you alone for a bit, alright?" Tonks motioned to the people standing around them to give Hermoine some space._

_Hermoine breathed in again and then looked up at her dead parents. "Oh, God." They were so pale and cold. Her mother's eyes were closed, but the expression on her face was not a pleasant one. Her father's eyes were still open though, and his face still held a look of pain._

_She began to choke on the air she was breathing in. She was gasping for air but found that none would reach her lungs. She tried to breath, wildly taking in gulps of air._

"_I-I can't breath!" She choked out. "Help!"_

_Faintly, she heard the sound of running footsteps. She felt a pair of hands grab her by the shoulders and sat her down. The mummer of a spell was said, and a wave of calmness swept over her. She took in a deep breath. And suddenly she was very tired. Her body was drained of its energy and she let her eyes closed._

"_I want to go back to Hogwarts please." She faintly remembered saying._

_Then everything went black and when she woke up she was in the hospital wing of Hogwarts, Harry and Ron by her bedside._

_

* * *

_

Now, it was just after dawn on September 1st. Over the summer she had stayed at the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. She was currently sitting on her bed in the room that she had to herself. Her trunk was packed and ready to go. She was waiting for Professor Dumbledore. In her hands, she held a knife she had found in one of the rooms she had been cleaning at the beginning of the summer. Rotating it, she took in its beauty. The hilt was a silver dragon, sitting, with its tail curled around itself and its wings extended up. The tips of the wings held a large emerald stone between them. The dragon's eyes were sapphires. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"I tried to kill the pain…" Hermoine whispered. "But only brought more…"

She brought the sharpened point to the tip of her left pointer finger and pricked it. A small pool of blood instantly surfaced. She made no move to clean it. She just sat and stared at it. Suddenly, she knew why blood turned red when it surfaced and joined the oxygen in the air. Blue just wasn't as frightening or beautiful as the dark red was. She smiled.

A knock on the door brought her back to reality. She quickly stuffed the knife under her pillow and wiped the blood off her finger under the covers of the bed.

"Yes?" She called out.

The door opened and Molly Weasley stuck her head in. "Oh, good, you're up. Just making sure. Would you like me to make you something to eat, dear?"

"No thanks, Mrs. Weasley. I'm not hungry right now. I'll get something later."

Mrs. Weasley gave her a concerned look. "Alright. Please promise me that you will eat something. I'm worried about you. You haven't eaten very well over the summer."

"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley. You don't have to worry about me. I promise I'll eat something." Hermoine said, feeling guilty because she knew that she wouldn't get hungry so therefore she wouldn't be eating anything later.

She hadn't really eaten all that much that summer. Only when her friends made her, but she just was never hungry. The food she did eat tasted like ash in her mouth and that made her lose her appetite even more.

"Okay, dear. I'll come get you when Professor Dumbledore arrives."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley." Hermoine said, as the older woman turned to leave.

Molly turned back to the teen before closing the door. "You're welcome, dear."

Hermoine retrieved the knife and, cleaning it off quickly, gently wrapped it and placed it in a small wooden box. She packed it in her trunk and checked to make sure she had gotten everything. Then she dressed in her school robes, brushed her teeth, and pulled her long hair into a ponytail. Last year her hair had finally started behaving and now it fell in beautiful curly waves, no longer frizzy or bushy. But she didn't care about it anymore. She didn't care much about anything anymore.

About thirty minutes later there was another knock on the door. It was Mrs. Weasley again. "Hermoine, dear, Professor Dumbledore is waiting downstairs for you. Whenever you're ready."

"Okay." Hermoine gathered her belongings and followed the older woman downstairs. Dumbledore turned to greet her.

"Are you ready, Ms. Granger?" He asked, looking down at her through half-moon spectacles. The sparkle that was usually present was dimmed greatly.

She just nodded her head; the life in her eyes had long since gone.

"Alright, off we go then." He said, and she stepped closer to him.

Together they apparated to the front of Hermoine's house. She didn't move for a minute, just stared at the house. She hadn't been here since the end of April when she had learned that Death Eaters had murdered her parents.

Dumbledore laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at his solemn face and they walked inside.

Inside was dark and quiet. Hermoine tried hard not to cry as she walked through the house, touching broken pictures of her family. She left them where they were though, not planning on taking anything that would remind her too much of her parents.

Hermoine made her way upstairs to her room to gather the things she would need for the school year. On her way back downstairs she paused by her parent's bedroom, and looked in through the door. Just like the downstairs it was a mess. Pictures lay broken on the floor, along with her Mother's favorite lamp and everything else that had been knocked over. Hermoine actually stopped to think why no one had bothered to clean up.

She took out her wand and with a wave began to clean up the mess. And just like that, her Mother's lamp was like new, the bed was made and the glass from broken pictures went back in place. Then with one last look she made her way back downstairs, where Professor Dumbledore was waiting for her.

She set her things down and looked up at the old wizard. "Do you mind if I clean everything up?" She asked.

"Not at all. Go ahead." He replied. "Would you like some help?"

"Yes, thank you." She nodded her head and began to return her house to normal.

When they were finished they apparated together to the train station, where Dumbledore left Hermoine to wait for her friends to arrive. She was left alone, with only her things and her thoughts.

Harry was the first one Hermoine saw come through the barrier. She ran towards him.

"Hermoine!" Harry cried out, holding out his arms to her. She accepted the hug, holding on to him as if her life depended on it. He whispered comforting words in her ear as she tried hard not to cry.

"Hey 'Moine." She heard Ron say, from behind her. She turned to him and really did start to cry as she hugged him too. Both boys held onto her as she cried, not saying or doing anything but hold her. This was the first time she had cried for the loss of her parents.

* * *

**And there's the 1st chapter! What do you think? Good? No good? Please tell me! Whatever you have to say I would like to know! Thank you so much!**


	2. Oh, The Irony

Here's some more! I hope you like it as much as the first chapter!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me!

The Game

Chapter 2: Oh, The Irony

"Master Draco? Master Draco! Is time to be waking, sir!" A nervous house elf said. He tentatively lifted an arm up to shake Draco awake.

Draco jerked and sat up fast. "What? I'm up!"

"Your Father is wanting you ready in 30 minutes to meet him in his office." The house elf informed.

Draco sighed. "Alright. What time is it?"

"It is being 7 a.m., sir."

"Thank you."

Draco took a second for himself, for that was all he was allowed (if he was lucky), to prepare himself for the day. He already knew what his Father wanted him for. Draco was just glad that today he was returning to Hogwarts. If he had to go through anymore training with his Father he would seriously start thinking about suicide.

Summer for Draco had been hellish as usual. Actually, hell would have been a pleasant place compared to the Manor. He was actually glad it was time for school again. Especially this year because not only was it his last year and he was Head Boy, he would not be going home for any holidays. Hogwarts was just so much more warm and friendly than his house.

At the beginning of the summer holidays, Draco's Father wasted no time in starting his training for his Death Eater initiation. It was supposed to be held on his 18th birthday, but with a lot of quick and hard thinking he convinced his Father that if he waited until after his graduation he would have more time to focus on serving the Dark Lord. His father hadn't been too pleased that Draco wanted to put off his initiation, but Draco put on a show that had finally convinced his father. Draco had told him he could start planning now so that it would be most fantastic. And Lucius Malfoy bought it. Draco was just hoping that going back to school would be a relief from his family life.

But since then his Father had been even tougher than normal in his training. He wasn't happy at all with Draco's decision to wait.

Draco was ready in 20 minutes, which gave him enough time to get down to his Father's office with a minute or two to spare. Outside the large wooden door of his Father's office Draco drew in a deep breath to compose himself, and then knocked on the door.

"Come in." His Father called out from within. Draco opened the door and stepped through.

There was Lucius Malfoy, in all his glory, sitting behind a large, wooden desk. Every wall in the room had bookcases against them, every space filled with books of dark magic and all sorts of dark magic items. A chandelier, holding candles, hung from the ceiling, casting out the only light in the room, giving it a scary, forbidden look.

"There you are, Draco." His Father spoke, not looking up from whatever he was working on. "Sit down, son."

Draco did as he was told, sitting on the chair provided in front of the elder Malfoy.

"Your last year of school begins today. You are ready, I suppose. Your things are packed and you've finished all of your summer work?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. And your Head Boy badge? Do not forget to put that on. Well, you know what I expect from you at school. Please do not embarrass me again by coming in 2nd to that Mudblood." He spat out the word, like acid on his tongue. "It's bad enough that she is Head Girl. And don't think that just because you are at school you can slack off on your training. You're getting much longer to train for your initiation than normal. It better be perfect. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." Draco replied. He kept his face calm and showed no emotion. What he really wanted to do was scream and punch the man who called himself his Father.

"Alright then. I will see when school is over. I cannot come with you to Hogwarts Express. I have a meeting I must attend. Do not disappoint me, Draco. You are dismissed." Lucius said, with a wave of his hand.

Draco stood and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He let out a sigh and prepared his mind for the return to school.

Outside there was already a car waiting for him with all of his things inside. His Mother was also there. She would be riding with him to the train station.

"Good morning, Draco." She greeted him with a kiss on his forehead. He was nearly 18 years old, but he would never stop his Mother from doing this.

"Good morning, Mother. Did you sleep well?" He asked, kissing her cheek.

"Well enough." She replied. Draco opened the car door for her and she got in, Draco following. "What did your Father have to say?"

"Oh, just the usual." Draco's Mother did not know about his opposition to the Dark Lord, although Draco wouldn't put it past her that she already knew. He didn't tell her anyways. But she did know that he did not like his Father, which she could understand.

The rest of the ride was silent, both Mother and son deep in thought. Draco wondering how he was going to survive the year, and Narcissa worrying about her only child.

When they reached the train station, Draco and his Mother got out of the car, while the driver gathered Draco's things from the trunk. Draco thanked him and said he could take it while he waited. His Mother stayed with him.

Draco looked around the station to see if any of his friends had arrived. His gaze fell onto the Golden Trio. Harry and Ron were hugging Hermoine, while she, it looked like, was hanging onto them for dear life. She was crying.

A strange look crossed his face as he looked on. Of course he knew why she was crying, why the whole last two months of school she had walked around like a zombie. He hadn't yet seen her cry though.

He had heard about it all summer from his Father. How a group of Death Eaters had killed her parents. How his Father hadn't been with the group, but every day wished he had been. Strangely, Draco was relieved by the knowledge that his Father hadn't been apart of the murder of Hermoine's parents.

Soon it was time to board the train. Draco snapped out of his daydream, and turned to his Mother.

"Bye, Mum." He said, hugging her and kissing her cheek.

"Have a good school year. Write me as often as you can." She kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mum. You write me too." Draco replied.

"Of course I will. I'll see you at graduation." She said, and pushed him to the train so he wouldn't miss it.

Draco turned back to where the Golden Trio had been standing. The two boys had led their mourning friend onto the train already. In the empty compartment, Hermoine had cried herself to sleep, while Harry and Ron just sat quietly across from her.

This year Draco didn't meet up with his friends or roam around the train like normal. Instead, he went in search for an empty compartment for himself. He knew that sooner or later his friends would find him, but until then he didn't want to talk to anyone.

As luck would have it he came across the Golden Trio. He stood in the doorway and looked in at them.

Ron noticed him first. "What do you want Malfoy? We're not in the mood to pick fights today." He said.

Draco said nothing as he just stared at him, then Harry, then finally his gaze fell onto Hermoine's sleeping form. He stared, quietly, at her for only a moment, looked back at Harry and Ron, then left without saying a word. The two boys just shared a confused look.

Draco sighed as he fell into a seat. Just as he began to doze off the door slammed open. Startled, he jumped.

"Oh, Draco! There you are!" He heard the obnoxious, and overly fake voice that Pansy used when around other people. Sometimes she forgot to turn it off.

Draco opened his eyes to find she was not alone. She entered the compartment, followed by Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise Zabini. Draco sighed, and closed his eyes again not saying anything.

"How was your summer, Draco?" Pansy said, speaking normally now.

"The same as every other summer I've had. Only worse." He said, eyes still closed.

"You should have come and hung out with us, mate." Blaise said.

"I wish I could have. Father had me training every day. He wasn't too pleased when I convinced him to put off my initiation until after graduation." Draco informed.

"Oh, man, I'm sorry." He said. They all knew of Draco's dislike for the Dark Lord. They followed him, so no one else knew. Supposedly Draco was to be Voldemort's heir or something and they would be his followers. And seeing as he was not going to take Voldemort's place they weren't going to follow in the footsteps of their Death Eater parents.

"It's alright. Hopefully, by the end of this year Potter will have gotten it right and there will be no more Voldemort and I can tell the Death Eaters to bugger off." He said.

Pansy decided to change the subject to a happier one. "So, I heard that you're Head Boy this year, Draco! That's great! Congratulations."

Draco nodded his head. "Yes, thank you."

"Who's Head Girl?" Crabbe asked. Contrary to popular belief, him and Goyle were not as stupid as they put off.

It was something the five of them had started when they had first started at Hogwarts. Almost like a game, but they had been doing it so long it was almost second nature. They all came up with a personality that would be typical for their social status. Draco had come up with the idea when he finally came to the conclusion that he would not become a Death Eater. Crabbe and Goyle, always having been on the larger side, decided to go for the dumb bodyguards. And obviously Draco was the cruel leader, Blaise the best friend, and Pansy the annoying rich girl.

Draco sighed. "Hermoine Granger."

"Oh, what happened to her parents was so awful." Pansy said.

"Yeah, at least my Father wasn't the one who did it." Draco said. "I would feel so guilty."

"I guess she wouldn't be up to having us hang around in your Common Room. Besides the fact that she hates all of us." Pansy said.

"Who cares? I'm not staying in my room by myself if I don't want to." Draco informed.

Silence filled the compartment and they all lost themselves in their thoughts. A woman came through with a cart full of goodies. They each bought something and ate in silence.

As the train was coming to a stop Draco couldn't help but want to stop time so he didn't have to go out into the real world and see people, mainly the people that he was supposed to 'hate'. It was so tiring pretending to be something you weren't. The only reason he acted the way he did was so his Father wouldn't ask questions.

The five friends got off the train and found a carriage. When they reached Hogwarts they followed all of the students into the Great Hall where they went to the Slytherin table to sit. On their way there who would they happen to run into but their three favorite people.

"Watch where you're going, Malfoy." Ron said.

Draco just rolled my eyes. "Grow up, Weasley. I've got better things to do than argue with people." With that he walked off, noticing Hermoine giving him a strange look. He just ignored it.

Draco was serious. He didn't want to take part in petty arguments with the Golden Trio. He had realized over the summer that his Father did things like that, and he had decided that he didn't want to be like his Father so that meant no quarrels.

He basically ignored the whole sorting. The song was too long, the list of new kids was too long and everything else was too long. He was just hungry and tired. He wanted to eat and get out of the crowded Great Hall. Finally, Dumbledore gave the word that they could eat.

Even though being away from his house and his Father, and being with his friends again, the first day back at school had not been the relief he was looking for. He really just wanted to curl up in a dark corner and die. That would solve all his problems. But he couldn't leave his friends behind. They needed him to lead them. Without him they would be forced to serve the Dark Lord, and they never wanted to do that either.

Draco looked up from his plate of food. He had thought he was hungry, but after only a few bites he was full. Across the Hall he looked for Hermoine Granger. What was that look she had given him? He noticed that she wasn't eating at all, just pushing the food around her plate with her fork. Harry and Ron were trying to get her to eat, but with no success. Finally, she stood up and left.

Sighing, he turned back around. He felt Pansy look at him and give him a concerned look. He met her eye. The question in her eyes was 'Are you okay?' He gave her a small smile and nodded. She smiled back.

"I'm out, you guys." Draco informed. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright, good night Draco." Pansy said. Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle all responded much the same and Draco left.

Professor Snape had given him a little map to find his room, and he found it without too many problems. The portrait was of an older wizard who was looking considerably bored.

"So the Head Boy finally decides to show up. How wonderful." He said, sarcastically. "Do you have the password?"

"Veritas." He replied, and was let in to see his new Common Room.

The theme of the Common Room was dark red and purple. To the left was a fireplace with a couch, two chairs, and a table. Directly in front of him was a little study area with a small library, complete with a large wooden desk. To the right was a staircase. Assuming it went to the bedrooms he headed upstairs. The first door he came to was open so he peeked in. It was Hermoine's room. She was putting the things from her trunk away.

"Hello." Draco said.

She looked up. "Hello. How are you?"

"Ever feel like you just want to die?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

She gave him a slow, sad smile. "All the time." She relied, and continued to hang a sweater up.

She sounded like he felt. "I'm sorry." He offered.

"It's okay." She said. "Unfortunately, I'll live."

"Oh, the irony." He said, smiling half-heartedly.

"Oh, the irony, indeed." Hermoine replied.

"Well, good night." Draco said, and turned to go to his room.

"I suppose." Was her only response.

* * *

**Well, you know what comes next! Review!**

**A/n: Yeah, Draco's going to be ooc as well as Hermoine, but that's the way the story is and if you don't like it read another story! But I hope you like my story anyway!**


	3. The Accident

OMG! Big thank you to the people who reviewed! It makes me so happy to know that people are enjoying my story so far! I hope you think that this chapter is as good as the others!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me!

The Game

Chapter 3: The Accident

When Hermoine woke the next morning it was to loud banging on her door.

"Uhhhhh…" She groaned, and turned over, thinking that if she ignored it it would go away.

The knocking continued.

"What do you want?" She mumbled, as she opened her eyes, her mind still foggy from sleep.

"Granger!" It could only be Draco calling from the other side of the door. "Are you up?"

Hermoine sat up and looked at her clock. Ten minutes till class.

"Oh, shit!" She exclaimed. "I'm up Malfoy! You can stop banging on the door!"

"You'd better hurry if you don't want to be late. Potter brought by your schedule for you. I left it in the Common Room." Draco informed, and then left for his own classes.

"Thank you!" Hermoine said, as she made a mad scramble to prepare for class.

Unlike many other Hogwarts students, she hadn't over slept because she had stayed up late trying to finish all her summer work that she had not done. But nor did she go to bed early because she had all her summer work finish. For once in her life Hermoine had not done any homework that was assigned for the summer holidays and she had not read ahead. For once in her life she would be on the same page as everyone else in her classes.

She threw on the first thing she saw in her closet and put on her robe. She stuffed her school supplies in her book bag and ran down the stairs. Along with her schedule was a plate of buttered toast set out for her. She had little time to wonder if Harry had brought it for her or if Draco had actually left it for her. She didn't wonder too long, and she grabbed the toast and her schedule and ran to her first class. That class happened to be Transfiguration.

At the door she looked at the toast in her hand that she hadn't eaten on her mad dash to class. She felt nauseous and threw it in the trash.

The bell rang as she slid into her seat next her Harry.

"Where have you been?" He whispered.

"I over slept. Thanks for bringing my schedule." She answered him.

"I figured. You're welcome. Did you bring your essay?" He asked.

Hermoine stared at him. "What essay?"

"Our summer assignment that could possibly be taken up today. You did do it right? Of course you did. You always do your work." Harry informed.

"Er, right. Umm, actually I don't have it Harry." Hermoine confessed, looking down at her desk.

"What!" Harry fought to keep his voice down. "You better hope she doesn't take it up then! I can't believe you didn't do it!"

Professor McGonagall decided to cut their conversation short. "Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger. Care to join the class? Or is what you have to talk about more important than Advanced Transfiguration?"

"Sorry, Professor." Then both mumbled.

So, Transfiguration continued, and luck was on Hermoine's side as Professor McGonagall decided not to collect their essays until the next class.

Hermoine sighed as she walked out of the class with Ron and Harry.

Harry looked at her. "You got so lucky."

"Yeah, right." She said.

Ron looked on confused. "What? What happened?"

Harry turned to Ron. "Hermoine didn't do her summer essay for Transfiguration."

Ron's mouth dropped open. "No way! That can't be possible!"

Hermoine looked at Ron. "It is Ron, now will you drop it? I've got Advanced Runes. I'll see you later."

"Alright, bye Hermoine." The boys said, and left for their class as well.

There were few people in this class. Three Ravenclaws, two Hufflepuff, Hermoine, and one Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. She was the first one to arrive, so she took a seat towards the back. Only a short while later someone else came in and sat down next to her. She looked up to see who it was.

"Hello." Draco said.

"Hi." She replied.

"You don't mind if I sit here do you?" He asked, pointing to where he was already sitting.

"You're already sitting there. No point in making you move."

"Thanks." He said, getting his things out for the class.

It was silent for a moment. No other students had come in yet. Hermoine turned back to Draco.

"Thanks for waking me up this morning." She said.

Draco looked up from his book. "No problem. I know I don't like to be late. Did you get the toast? I thought you might be hungry."

Hermoine smiled slightly. "Yeah, thanks for that too."

"You're welcome."

The bell rang, and the other students entered together. Hermoine supposed they were chatting with friends in the hall. After class Hermoine made her way to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry and Ron were already there, eating. She slid into a seat next to them.

The boys each greeted her with their mouths full of food.

"How was your class?" Harry asked.

"It was all right. How was yours?" Hermoine replied, as she moved the food on her plate around with a fork.

"Oh, as good as Divination can be." Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Ron swallowed his food and said, "Yeah, but you have to admit that it's a whole lot better with Firenze than with Trelawney."

"Definitely. We have Care of Magical Creatures next. It'll be great to see Hagrid."

"But we also have that class with Slytherins." Ron informed. "Including Draco Malfoy."

"I don't think Draco Malfoy is going to be such a problem this year." Hermoine said.

"What?" Harry and Ron said, together, and actually stopped eating to give her an 'Are you mad!' look.

"Well, don't you think he's been acting kind of, well, civil, so far this year?" Hermoine asked.

"I guess he hasn't said anything to us yet. But it's only a matter of time." Ron said. "His silence won't last for long."

"How do you know?" Hermoine asked.

"Has he ever kept quiet?" Ron countered.

Hermoine didn't reply. Then after a few moments she stood up. "I'm going to go outside for break. I've got a few assignments I need to work on. I'll meet you guys outside for class."

"Okay. Don't work too hard." Harry said.

"Don't worry, I won't."

In fact, she didn't plan on doing any work at all. She found a nice shady tree by the lake and sat under it. And she was left alone with her thoughts. The only thing that was on her mind at the moment was the small wooden box in the bottom drawer of her dresser. It called to her and she craved it.

Not five minutes had past when a shadow stood over her. She looked up.

"Fancy seeing you here." Draco greeted. "Waiting for class?"

"Yeah. What are you doing here?"

Draco looked up at the tree. "I always come here whenever I need to think and clear my thoughts."

Hermoine laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was your tree. Would you like me to leave?"

Draco thought for a minute. "No, you can stay if you'd like. I wouldn't mind some intelligent company."

Hermoine just moved over a bit and patted the grass next to her. "Be my guest."

Draco sat down and they were both silent for a while.

Hermoine finally had to ask the question that had been on her mind. "Why are you being so civil this year?"

"Hm, I just grew up I guess." Draco said. "Would you like me not to be civil?"

"No! Of course not! I was just curious."

Draco nodded. "I suppose you're not the only one who has noticed." He tried to change the subject. "What are you thinking about? I come out here to think, so I'm guessing you did to? What's on your mind?"

"Knives." Was her answer.

"Excuse me?" Draco asked.

"Sorry, random I know. It's… I found one this summer while cleaning an old room. It's really pretty. I was just wondering about it. You know, who it belonged to, where it came from."

"What does it look like?"

"There's an engraving of a dragon on the hilt. It has sapphire eyes and certain scales have emeralds on them. The top and bottom are encircled in rubies. It's the prettiest knife I've ever seen." She described.

"Sounds beautiful. Did you bring it to school? I wouldn't mind seeing it."

Hermoine closed her eyes. "Yeah, it just sits in the box I found it in."

The bell then signaled the end of break and it was time for their next class. They stood and went to join their classmates by Hagrid's hut.

Hermoine skipped dinner all together and went to her room. Harry and Ron gave each other worried looks when they realized she wasn't coming. Hermoine entered her room and closed the door behind her. She sighed as she knelt in front of her dresser and opened the bottom drawer. She removed the clothes from the drawer and took out the wooden box holding the knife, setting it gently in front of her. She removed the lid and looked at the small knife that lay inside.

"Hello again, my friend. I missed you yesterday." She said, grabbing the knife's handle and taking it out of the box. Its sharp, pointed tip gleamed at her as she held it in front of her. She lowered it gently to her wrist.

"Granger!" Draco banged on her door.

Hermoine's heart skipped a beat and she turned to face the door so quickly the knife moved against the palm of her hand.

"Oh, bloody hell!" She cried. "Shit! What is it Malfoy? This isn't going to be a habit of yours is it?" She asked, as she quickly replaced the knife and box back in the drawer and stuffed the clothes on top of it.

"I hope not. Just wanted to remind you of our meeting with the prefects. It's in fifteen minutes." Draco said, from behind the door.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me. I'll be there in a bit." Hermoine said, as she got a towel to clean up her hand.

"Not a problem." She heard him walk away and she let out a sigh of relief.

"Another time then, my friend." She said, leaning against the door.

She entered the Great Hall where the first prefect meeting was to be held. Professor Dumbledore and all head's of houses would be present for the first meeting. She had wrapped a white bandage around her hand and pulled on a hoodie and kept her hands in the pocket. Everyone was already there waiting for her.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She said, taking a seat next to Draco. He gave her a small smile and she smiled back.

Dumbledore just smiled. "That's quite all right, Ms. Granger. We were just early. You were on time. Shall we begin then?" There were nods from all the students and teachers. "Well, your teachers and I will only be at this one meeting. Your Head Boy and Girl, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger will conduct the rest. I just wanted to give you a good starting place and let you know what will be expected of you. Some of you know what your duties are as prefects, but for those that have not had the position yet will need to be filled in. Mainly, you must keep an eye on your fellow students and report anything to your Heads of House immediately. The Head Boy and Girl will schedule you patrolling duties.

"Enough of that for now. I want to have more events for the students this year such as balls and dances. Something fun for all the main holidays throughout the year. I will leave the planning for them up to you. I think that is all for now. Does anyone have any questions? Or anything to add? Something I've forgotten?" He looked around and when no one spoke up he continued. "Well, all right then. Off to bed now!"

The group split up and left to their Common Rooms. Draco and Hermoine walked back to their rooms together. The halls were surprisingly empty on the trip.

A piece of hair fell into Hermoine's face and she brought her hand out of the hoodie's pocket to put it behind her ear. Draco looked over to her and noticed the bandage.

"What happened?" He asked.

"What?" She looked at him, confused.

He pointed. "Your hand."

"Oh, I, um, cut it." She said.

"Cut it? How did you manage to cut your hand?" He asked, smirking.

Hermoine looked away, trying to find a good answer that was believable. How did one manage to cut the palm of your hand? It wasn't an everyday occurrence. "I, um, well, I'm not sure really. I, um, just looked down and it was bleeding." Well, that sure wasn't a very good story. Lame, Hermoine! Lame! She thought to herself. He's never going to believe that.

And he didn't, but he let is slide with a, "Uh huh, sure."

Embarrassed, Hermoine ran straight up to her room. She decided that she ought to do some homework, so maybe she wouldn't fail any of her classes.

She didn't get much done. Her hand throbbed and still, the knife called to her.

* * *

**Review please! I'll love you forever. For serious.**


	4. Pretending

Hehe! Apparently I've been misspelling 'Hermione'! .; Thanks to laura-the-llama for pointing that out! I've fixed it in this chapter! Also, these first few chapters are just kinda setting up the story. The big chapter comes next! And then the story will start to unfold! Well, enjoy for now!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me!

The Game

Chapter 4: Pretending

Draco walked into the Great Hall for breakfast one morning later that week. He found his friends and sat down with them.

"Morning." He greeted, as he began to pile food onto his plate.

"Good morning, Draco." Pansy smiled from across the table.

"Hey, Draco." Blaise said. "How's life in the Head dorms?"

Draco swallowed his food before replying. "So far, not too bad. Really nice actually. You guys should come and check them out sometime."

"And Granger? How has she been?" Pansy asked.

"We haven't fought since we got here. I guess that's a good start. But she doesn't seem like her normal self any more, which is perfectly understandable. But I suppose things are looking good for this year." Draco informed his friends.

"Yeah, I hope you're right. Draco," Pansy paused, her face showing how nervous she was feeling. "I hope you're not mad, but I thought it would be okay. I've started speaking normally around other people. I just, well, after this summer I'm just so tired of pretending. I can't take it anymore. I want to be me. And this is our last year. I just want to experience it while being the real me."

Draco was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts on the matter. "You're absolutely right, Pansy. I'm sick of pretending as well. I think it's time to show the world who we really are, to stand up for ourselves and against our parents."

The air around them seemed to suddenly get lighter. It was like, all of a sudden, they had become different people. Crabbe and Goyle lost their dumb and confused look, and Blaise sat up straighter and smiled, as did Pansy. Draco looked around at his friends and couldn't help but smile as well. He was proud to call them his friends. They had stuck with him, pretended to be something they weren't, without complaint. It was time that they left the world of deceit and become what they were meant to be.

They returned to their food once more and continued their meal in silence. Just before they finished Pansy saw Ron and Harry leaving the Gryffindor table in a hurry with grim faces.

"Wonder where they're off to?" She asked.

Draco turned to look. "Dunno."

"Where's Granger?" Blaise asked.

"Probably overslept again." Draco informed. "Maybe they've gone to wake her. Wouldn't want to be late to Potions."

* * *

Harry and Ron had sat at the Gryffindor table looking at the empty chair in front of them. They had shared a look and stood up to leave the Great Hall. Hermione had told them where to find the Head dorms and they went in search of their friend. 

Hermione opened the portrait door and looked out. "Oh, hi guys. I'm still getting ready. You can come in and wait for me if you want." She gestured for them to come into the Common Room. They followed her in.

"Are you going to eat breakfast, Hermione?" Harry was the first to ask.

"Well, I probably won't have time to stop by the Great Hall. Class with Snape will be Hell if we're late. But it's okay. I can wait till lunch." Hermione said, as she went about the room gathering her school things.

"Did you even eat anything yesterday?" Ron asked. "You left lunch without eating anything and you weren't even at breakfast or dinner!"

"You guys are overreacting. Don't worry about me. We're going to be late for Potions if you don't let me finish getting ready!" With that she stomped off to her room to get the last of her things.

Classes went by that day like they had all week: long, and boring. Hermione felt like she wasn't even in the room during classes. She was zoning off and not paying attention. She was in her room now, attempting to do the homework that had been assigned, but she wasn't getting very far.

"Hermione?" Draco called through the door.

Hermione blinked and shook her head. "Yeah?" She answered, her mind barely registering the fact that Draco had called her by her first name.

He opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. "We need to put a schedule together for the prefects for the next meeting. I'm free right now, so if you're not too busy maybe we can get it over with?" He asked.

"Sure. I need a break anyway. Do you want to just work on it in here? I've got everything we need here anyway."

"Okay." Draco stepped into her room and conjured up a chair for himself. "How's your hand doing?" He asked, taking a seat.

Hermione blushed. "Oh, it's fine." She gathered some parchment, a quill and some ink and pulled out the list of prefects. "Let's do this then, shall we?"

* * *

It was Friday evening and Hermione and Draco found themselves sitting in an empty classroom where they would be holding the prefect meeting. They had walked down together after dinner. Neither of them said a thing. 

After a few minutes of silence Draco spoke up. "What really happened to your hand?"

Hermione didn't answer right away as the anger boiled up inside of her. "Why do you want to know anyway? It was just an accident! I don't know what the big deal is!" She snapped.

"Can't I be concerned? And didn't you tell me that you didn't know how it happened?" He fired back.

"Well, maybe it was just something dumb and I was embarrassed to say anything. And what gives you the right to be concerned for me? For six years you hate me, are mean to me and call me names and now it's like you want to be friends or something! I just don't get it!"

"The me you've seen for the past six years wasn't the real me." Draco informed.

Hermione stared. "What? I don't understand."

"And they say you're the smart one. That was me pretending to be who I am supposed to be. But this is my last year at Hogwarts. I wanted to experience it as the me who I want to be." Draco said.

"But why? Why pretend?" Hermione asked.

"Have you met my Father? Have you me the Dark Lord! Those are people you just don't mess with, Hermione! If you're eleven years old and you had a choice: obey or be killed, which would you choose? At eleven you don't really want to die, so you just obey."

"What about your friends, then? Won't they tell your Father?"

"No, they've been pretending too. But not anymore. You'll see. They get to be themselves this year."

The conversation ended as the first couple of prefects entered the classroom. Once everyone was present the Head Boy and Girl began the meeting.

Draco spoke as Hermione got up to pass out papers to the students. "Hermione is passing out your patrolling schedule. Please make sure you know when, where, and with whom you are patrolling with. You cannot get reassigned unless it is a real emergency. The fact that you hate your patrolling partner is not a real emergency. So, if you don't like them too bad. I suggest you learn to like them. Hermione and I worked very hard on putting that together, so it stays the way it is."

"Thank you, Draco." Hermione said, sitting back down next to him. "Now for the fun part: the school dances. We thought that we'd have one for Halloween of course, and Christmas. We are also going to have a Valentine's Ball and two end of the year dances: one for the graduating 7th years and one for the rest of the students. This is how they are going to be done. The 5th year prefect will be responsible for the Halloween Ball. You have the creative freedom to do what you want within school rules. Same goes for the 6th years who will be in charge of the Yule Ball and the 7th years who will be in charge of the Valentine's Ball. The 5th and 6th years will do their end of the year dance and the 7th years theirs. Draco and I will be available to help if you have a problem. You will be responsible for getting together and planning everything. I think it might be wise to select a leader in the group to keep everything in order. Draco, have I covered everything?" Hermione asked, turning to Draco.

"I believe so, but I think they should tell us their plan once they've got it all together just to be sure." He suggested.

"That's a good idea. Does anyone have any questions?"

A 5th year prefect raised her hand and they spent the rest of the meeting asking and answering questions.

They ended the meeting and everyone left. Hermione and Draco were the last to leave. They walked back to their Common Room together.

"Well, good night." Draco said, outside of Hermione's room.

"Yeah, good night." She replied, and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.

Draco went to his room and collapsed on his bed, face down. He didn't fall asleep for a long time, but he didn't bother to move, not even to change out of his school robe.

Hermione leaned against the door she had just closed and sighed. Then she walked to her dresser and opened the bottom drawer. She pulled the knife from its box and held it in front of her.

"Maybe this time we won't be interrupted." She said, as she lowered it to her wrist once more. She just watched as blood pooled in a line down her wrist.

* * *

**Shorter than my other chapters but not too bad I guess. More later. Until then, review!**


	5. Losing Control

Well, here it is! Chapter 5! I really didn't think so many people would like my story! It makes me so happy and gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling! Lol!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

The Game

Chapter 5: Losing Control

The first month of their 7th year at Hogwarts flew by and soon they were already halfway into October. October found Hermione caring less and less about school, her friends, and life in general. And while her marks in school were still the highest they began to fall as she started only doing the minimum amount of work required.

She was being drawn towards the little wooden box in the bottom drawer of her dresser more and more. It was like she didn't have a purpose for cutting anymore. It was just something she did now. She would come back to her room after a long, stressful day and pull out the knife. She no longer did it from the grief of her parent's death, to take away the ache in her heart. It was more like an addiction now. She needed to feel the cool blade against her skin, and the tingling sensation that come just before the blood and then the pain.

She couldn't stop now, not even if she wanted to.

She continued to skip meals in the Great Hall. It was as if she had lost her appetite for food permanently. Just thinking about food reminded her of the ash taste she tasted now when she ate and it made her nauseous. Her friends worried about her, but it was like she just didn't care anymore about anything.

Draco noticed the changes as well. He and his friends had been changing for the better and Hermione, it seemed, was changing for the worst. You could tell she was losing weight now. Her skin was paler and she had dark circles under eyes.

Hermione had started listening to music in her room, turning it up loud so that she could sing along. Draco found he could tell her mood by which songs she played. Every time he heard a song start he would listen for her to start singing. He loved to hear her sing. He had figured out a way so that he could block out the actual music and just hear Hermione sing. She didn't know this of course. She probably didn't think that people could hear her over the loud music.

Most of it was Muggle music that Draco didn't recognize, but he found that those were the songs he liked best.

That morning Hermione, waking up feeling all together overwhelmed and depressed with life, had put on 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence. Draco's heart had clenched when he heard it. Somewhere in the last month and a half he had grown a soft spot for the Gryffindor bookworm and it hurt him that she felt like that. He wanted to help, but he didn't have the slightest clue as to what to do.

For Hermione the day just went downhill. She made her way into the Gryffindor Common Room wanting to forget school and, hopefully, find comfort from her two best friends. She looked around and spotted them by a window playing chess. Ron looked up and smiled at her.

"Hermione! Just the person I wanted to see!" Ron exclaimed. "Come join us!"

Hermione pulled up a chair and sat next to them. "Hi guys."

"Hey, Hermione." Harry said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." She replied.

"Hey 'Mione," Ron began. "Have you done your paper for transfiguration yet? Do you think I could have a look at it? I have no idea where to start it."

Hermione sighed. "No Ron, I have not done it yet."

"What?" Ron cried. "Isn't it due Monday? That's like in two days! Don't you usually like to have your work done the day you get the assignment? That's so not like you 'Mione!"

"So what, Ron? Yeah, it's due Monday. No, I have not started it. That means you'll have to do it yourself over the weekend! I'm not going to let you see mine or help you with yours! It's time you guys learned to do your own work! I'm not always going to be here to do your work for you! I'm sick of only being here so you can pass your classes! No, don't interrupt me! I'm finished helping you! Find someone else to do it for you!"

Hermione stood up and ran out of the Common Room. Everyone was silent and stared at Ron and Harry who looked very guilty.

Hermione ran and ran, tears falling down her face. She didn't know how long she ran for or even where she was running to. She finally arrived at her own Common Room her tears coming to an end. She said the password and entered. She stood before the entrance. Looking around her eyes fell on Draco who sat on the couch.

He looked up at her. "Hello."

Hermione's eyes glazed over as she looked at Draco without really seeing him. "Hello." He continued to look at her while she stared at him without seeing. She turned for the stairs. "Good bye." And she walked up to her room, shutting the door behind her. She headed straight for her dresser. Before she knew it the knife was in her hands.

She didn't feel like herself, yet she knew exactly what she was doing. Except this time she wasn't in control anymore. It was like she was outside of her body watching herself as she brought the knife down against her arm again and again. Her head was spinning. She didn't want this anymore! 'Stop it!' She tried to scream at herself. But she didn't stop. Not until her entire arm was covered in her own blood.

She finally stopped and dropped the knife. She stared in horror at the blood pouring down her hand. She grasped her wrist and bit back a scream. She needed help, but who could she go to? She could just imagine the disappointed look in Dumbledore's eyes and the disbelief of Ron and Harry.

She stumbled down the stairs to the Common Room. Draco was no longer there. He had gone to bed. She fell out of the portrait and somehow found herself down in the dungeons. She tried hard not to fall as she awkwardly opened the door to Professor Snape's office. She didn't even question why he was in his office so late, just stared at him wide eyed, clutching her wrist.

Snape looked up as she crashed in. After the initial surprise he raised his eyebrows. "Yes Ms. Granger? Can I help you?"

She continued to just stare. She opened her mouth, and then closed it several times.

Snape stood up. "This isn't funny Ms. Granger! What is it?"

With her eyes still wide and staring at him, she uncovered her wrist. She looked at it and promptly fainted, falling forward onto Snape. He stumbled backwards, but managed to keep them both from falling over.

"Ms. Granger! Ms. Granger!" Snape yelled out. "Oh, Merlin, what have you done to yourself?" He asked himself. He picked up the unconscious girl and ran all the way to the hospital wing.

By the time he got there he was sweating and out of breathe, but the rush of adrenaline kept him going.

"Poppy!" He cried out as he moved to the nearest bed. He laid Hermione on it and continued his search for the Medi-witch. "Poppy! Where in Merlin's name are you?"

He heard a door open and close and shortly after a very tired Medi-witch emerged. She was in a white nightgown and her hair was all disheveled.

"What in the world are you yelling about Severus? Do you have any idea what time it is?" She asked.

"That is why I'm yelling." He said, pointing to Hermione.

Madame Pomfrey's gaze moved to see what he was pointing at. She gasped and her hand went to cover her mouth.

"What happened?" She asked, as her brain quickly went into action.

"I don't know. She showed up in my office, quite frightened, showed me her arm and fainted on me." Snape reported.

"Okay, thank you for bringing her here."

She had cleaned up the blood and got it to stop flowing.

"What do you think happened?" The Potions Master asked.

"What does it look like, Severus?" She asked.

"Did she do it herself?" He asked, unbelieving.

"It appears that way. From the look of it this wasn't the first time."

Severus shook his head. "Why would she do such a thing?"

"I don't know." Poppy answered, wrapping a bandage around the girl's wrist. "She'll need to be watched carefully though. Any objects that could be used to cut will need to be taken from her possession for a time. A student will need to look after her wand, keeping it until she must use it in class."

"Mr. Malfoy will do it. It will be easier since they share dorms."

"Alright. Please send him by in the morning so I can speak with him." Poppy ordered. "I will keep an eye on her until then. It's late Severus. You should go to bed."

"Yes, well good night." He said, and left the hospital wing.

* * *

Draco was woken that Saturday morning by a knocking on his door. Groaning, he rolled over and looked at his clock. 

"7:30? Who wakes up at 7:30 on a Saturday?" He mumbled, as he got out of his bed. Throwing a robe around himself he opened the door. He was surprised to find Professor Snape. "Professor? Is there a problem?" He asked, after seeing the disturbed look on the Potions Master's face.

"As a matter of fact there is Mr. Malfoy. It seems that the Head Girl had a little accident last night. Well, not so little and not quite an accident actually. She is in the hospital wing right now. Madame Pomfrey asks that you go there as soon as you can." Snape told his student.

Draco nodded. "Yes, sir."

Severus left and Draco went to get ready for the day.

What could have happened to Hermione? He asked himself over and over again. She had come in the night before, and had looked at him very strangely. He didn't think anything of it at the time. He was too tired to realize that there might have been something wrong.

After he showered and got dressed he quickly made his way down to the hospital wing. Upon entering he saw that the bed at the end of the room had it's curtains drawn around it. He went in search for Madame Pomfrey and found her in her office.

"Professor Snape said you wished to see me?" He asked.

The Medi-witch looked up from her desk. "Ah, yes, Mr. Malfoy. I have a job for you to do. It seems that Ms. Granger has a problem that she must get help for. You are to help her on her way to recovery. You must keep her wand for her at all times unless she needs it in class or for homework. If she does have her wand with her she must be monitored while she uses it. She must not have access to anything sharp that can cut, like a knife. Do you understand?"

Draco let this information sink in. While he was still a little lost on what had happened he was beginning to understand. "Yes. Can I ask what happened?"

"It appears that Ms. Granger has been cutting herself." Draco's eyes widened. "Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but it does happen. Even to the ones we would never expect. It also looks like she has not been eating properly. If you can please get her to start eating right. Don't be mean about it. We must be gentle with her. She is going to have a hard time with this so we must be very supportive."

Draco nodded his head. "Can I see her?"

"Of course. You may stay here until she wakes up, or I can have someone come get you when she wakes up."

"I'll stay here." Draco said, as the Medi-witch pulled back the curtain around Hermione's bed just enough for them to enter the small space.

Hermione was sleeping soundly on the bed, the white covers pulled up around her. Draco noticed a white bandage on her left arm. He still couldn't believe it. How long had she been doing this? He wondered, as he gathered a blanket, pillow and a chair for himself. Somewhere in the middle of his wondering he dozed off.

Hermione woke and slowly opened her eyes. There was white all around her. This wasn't her room. If she wasn't in her room where was she? She looked around and realized she was in the hospital wing. What surprised her the most was the sleeping form of Draco in a chair next to the bed she was in. Why was she here? What happened last night?

That's when she noticed the bandage on her arm. Now she remembered. She had lost control and went to Snape! Snape! Of all people! What in the world possessed her to go to him? And what made her lose control like she did? She had always been in control before. Every time she had cut she knew exactly what she was doing, but this time it had been different. She had gotten angry with Ron and Harry, she remembered that, and everything from there was still sort of blurry.

She looked back over to Draco. He was awake now and was staring at her. She quickly looked away.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, after a few moments had passed in silence.

She hadn't been expecting the question and took a moment to think about it. "Because I wanted to die." She said, simply, staring at the wall across from her.

"That's bullshit!" Draco exclaimed so suddenly that she jumped and looked at him. "Sometimes I want to die too, but you don't see me pulling a stunt like this every time I feel that way! I'd have been dead a hundred times if I had!"

There was no feeling in her eyes and voice as she replied. "You only feel that way sometimes. I feel it all the time. I would have been dead a thousand times over."

Draco sat back down, as he had stood in his outburst. His anger slowly faded though as he heard her speak, with no emotion, no life. It was as if she did die. He no longer saw the Hermione Granger he once knew. She was gone. Would she ever come back? He asked himself.

He began to gather his things. "Well, I suppose I'm free to go now that you're awake. I'm supposed to keep your wand for you from now on. Don't worry, I'll keep it safe." He said, and turned to leave.

"Draco, wait." He heard faintly. He turned back and looked at her. "I don't want to be alone."

He nodded slightly and sat back down.

* * *

**What do ya think? Huh huh huh? Please tell me in a review! I'll try to update as soon as I can! I've already started chapter 6!  
**


	6. Will Things Ever Be Normal Again?

Okay, there's a lot going on in this chapter and it covers a lot of time so yeah... I don't know the point of telling you that, but there it is! I'm getting my thoughts together for the next few chapters. I can't believe how well I'm doing with this! I had a little bit of writers block in the middle of this chapter but it went away, so here is chapter 6! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

The Game

Chapter 6: Will Things Ever Be Normal Again?

Madame Pomfrey insisted that Hermione stay in the hospital wing over the weekend. The Medi-witch explained to her that she would have to get help for her problem and that Draco had volunteered to help her. She would not be allowed to be left alone with any sharp items. Her room had been searched for anything that could be used to cut.

Hermione didn't talk much in her stay in the hospital wing. Draco came by everyday, more than once, even if he ended up just sitting next to her bed in silence.

Hermione knew that this was for the best and that they only wanted her to get better. And she wanted to get better too. But she couldn't help but feel the way she did. Her cutting had become an addiction, so quitting would be very hard. Sitting in bed all weekend in the hospital wing did not help at all. She just sat there thinking all day, not knowing what to do with herself. Her hands craved to just hold the knife again.

It bugged her a little that it was Draco Malfoy that would be in charge of keeping her wand. She didn't know why because he had seemed to prove that he didn't want anything to happen to her. He had been the only one to visit her over the weekend. Of course, she wasn't sure if anyone else even knew she was there. She definitely didn't want anyone else to know why she was there.

Sunday night she was allowed to return to her own room. Draco came to walk back to the Common Room with her.

"You haven't told anyone why I was in the hospital wing have you?" Hermione asked, quietly.

"No, of course not. If you don't want anyone to know I won't tell. I promise." He reassured her.

"Thank you." She said. Draco just nodded. "Well, I guess back to normal tomorrow…"

"Yeah, I guess so."

They stood in the Common Room in front of the staircase. Hermione turned to face Draco.

"Well, good night, then." She said, and turned to go upstairs. She stopped when she felt his hand on her shoulder. She turned back towards him. "Yes?"

"It's going to be okay." Draco said. "If you need anything I'll be here for you. You don't have to do this alone."

Tears glistened in her eyes. She nodded. "Thank you." She whispered before turning to go to her room for the night.

This time there was no little wooden box and no pain to ease her craving.

* * *

The next day Hermione went back to her classes like nothing ever happened. She was quiet and didn't say anything the whole day. She ignored Harry and Ron like the plague. They tried to apologize to her but when she saw them coming towards her she fled in the other direction. 

At the end of Potions, Hermione made her way towards Draco.

"Draco, can I have my wand please?" She asked, holding out her hand, expectantly. "As I'm sure you've noticed, we don't have our next class together."

"I know, but I have strict orders. I'll walk you to your next class, then give it to you." He said, while gathering his school supplies and putting them into his bag.

Hermione sighed. "I'm just going to class." She said, quietly.

"Hey," Draco said, in a soft voice. "I would give it to you, but I have to obey orders. Besides, it's a good excuse to be late to class." He smirked.

"Oh, wipe that smirk off your face! And speaking of being late, if you don't hurry, I'll be late for class!" She exclaimed.

"Now there's the Hermione I know!" Draco commented. Hermione glared at him. "Relax, Professor Snape will write us a pass. Come on."

Hermione stood back while Draco got a note from Snape. She hadn't spoken to the Potions Master or even seen him since the incident happened. She felt weird around him now, not knowing what to expect from the man she had run to when she lost control. He had ignored her the entire class. He didn't even look at her. He was just as unsure about her as she was about him.

* * *

At the end of the day Hermione walked to her Common Room. She was hoping that Draco wasn't busy because she had found that she enjoyed talking with him, and she needed someone to talk to right then. 

What she found was Draco with his friends. They had stopped their conversation when she entered.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said. "I didn't realize you had company. I'll just leave you guys alone then." She turned around and started to walk up the stairs.

"Hermione wait." Hermione stopped because she didn't recognize the voice. She was pretty sure that the only girl she had seen was Pansy Parkinson and the girl who had just spoken didn't sound like Pansy. She turned back to the group. "Yeah, that was me." Pansy said. "This is my normal voice. You can join us if you want."

Hermione looked at the other guys and then Draco. They all nodded their heads.

"Alright." Hermione said, and walked back towards the couches and fireplace and took a seat between Draco and Blaise on the couch.

"So, Hermione. It's okay if I call you 'Hermione' right?" Pansy asked.

Hermione nodded. "Sure."

"Okay, then you may call me Pansy if you want. How have things been going?" Pansy asked.

"Um, things have definitely been better, but I suppose I'm doing alright now." She answered.

"I know what you mean." Blaise said. "And school has been crazy. I have no idea what possessed me to take so many Advanced classes. It'll be a miracle if I make it through the year."

They continued to talk well past dinner and late into the night when they finally realized that they had classes in the morning and they still needed to do homework if they really did want to pass their classes.

Draco and Hermione stayed where they were though, sitting on the couch. Draco moved to put his arm around her shoulders, and Hermione rested her head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Draco asked.

Hermione didn't answer right away. "Not really." She whispered. "It's just… so hard. I don't know what's happened to me. It's gotten so out of control and I don't know what to do anymore. I miss my parents, Draco. I miss them so much!" She choked out before her tears started flowing. "Wha-what would they think of me now? Their precious little girl, cutting herself. I don't know what happened to me. I don't know why I'm like this now. And look at me now, crying like a baby. Will things ever be normal again?"

"You lost your parents, Hermione. It's not just something you can let go of and be all right with. Especially, with the way they died. It's okay to cry, Hermione. As for things ever being normal again, I don't know. But maybe things change to help us get stronger and to become a better person. You can get over this and become the strong, beautiful woman I know is inside of you." Draco told her. She nodded her head, tears still falling down her cheeks.

Draco just held her as she cried. After a while they started to slow down and her eyes started to get heavy.

"We should go to bed." Draco said.

"Mm hmm." Hermione mumbled, half asleep.

Draco sighed and picked her up. He carried her upstairs to her room and placed her in bed pulling the covers up around her.

"Good night, Hermione." He said, and turned off the light.

Before he closed the door he heard her speak. "Thanks, Draco."

"You're welcome." He said, and closed the door.

* * *

Halloween came and went. The Ball was just like every other Halloween Ball, or that's what Hermione though anyway. The orange and black theme with bats and spiders and pumpkins. Hermione had to go to open the dance, but she didn't stay long. She still wasn't in the mood for anything social. 

She and Draco had been talking a lot and spending a lot of time together. He let her rant and rave when she needed to, or cry when she couldn't handle anything else. She felt comfortable talking with him. He would tell her about his problems with his father and what was expected of him.

On one such day, they sat in Hermione's room, on the floor, leaning against her bed. It was just after dinner and they were waiting until it was time for them to patrol the halls.

"When you're young," Hermione started. "You have such high expectations of the world. Such high hopes and dreams for yourself. You expect nothing but the best and what you want to happen. They call it innocence. If you grow up and still have the same thoughts of the world, well, then they call it ignorance. Both are wonderful places to be. Until the real world falls into place around you. Well, I think you can guess when that was for me."

"Didn't that happen when you first helped Potter fight Voldemort though?" Draco asked.

"Oh, no." Hermione said. "I still kept my innocent perception of good and evil."

"And what was that?" Draco asked, curious.

"That good will always overcome evil and everyone will live happily ever after." Hermione explained.

"I'm sorry I can't sympathize with you over your loss of innocence. I never had the chance to view the world that way. The moment I took my first breath I took my first steps into the real world of good and evil. As a child my father filled my mind with knowledge that kids should never know. He tried to mold me into the perfect mindless driod to do his evil deeds and serve the Dark Lord. He almost succeeded. Actually, I'm pretty sure he thinks he did. I think I might become an actor when I graduate. My friends and I have had all of you fooled for quite some time haven't we?" Draco said, lightly.

Hermione smiled and let out a small laugh. "Why did you decide to stop pretending?"

"I was sick of being the thing my father wanted me to be."

Both students were suddenly silent, having the feeling that all that had been needed to say had been said.

Except for one thing that Draco had had on his mind for quite a while. Draco decided that he needed to tell her so it wouldn't be floating in the back of his conscious.

"Hermione?" He started. She turned her head towards him, but his gaze stayed on the floor in front of him.

"Yeah?"

"The night your parents were killed, well, I just wanted you to know that my father wasn't there. He wasn't apart of that. I just thought that maybe you should know." He said.

The room was silent again for a few more minutes before Hermione spoke. "Thank you for telling me, Draco." Although, she knew that he had told her more for his own conscious than for her, she knew that it had been the thing that was keeping them from getting closer. She let herself smile just a little bit, and rested her head on his shoulder. He moved his arm around her so that she could be more comfortable.

And this was how they could be found when their moment was interrupted by a knock outside the Common Room: the two of them sitting against the end of Hermione's bed with Draco's arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

Neither of them wanted to move. "Who is it?" Hermione called out.

They heard a muffled "Harry" from behind the portrait.

Both sighed. Draco moved to get up and leave, but Hermione stopped him. "Stay." She said. "I don't think I can face him alone."

She hadn't spoken to either Harry or Ron since their fight. She just couldn't face them after what had happened.

Draco nodded. "Alright."

"I'm in my room!" Hermione called out to Harry.

Harry appeared in the doorway shortly after. His eyes narrowed as they fell on Draco.

"Hermione, I need to talk with you. What's he doing in your room anyway?"

"We were talking. I'd rather it if he stayed, but if you don't feel comfortable saying whatever you have to say in front of him you may kindly ask him to leave." Hermione said, stubbornly.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "Malfoy, will you please excuse us?"

"Certainly, Potter, but if you make her cry I will hurt you." Harry's head snapped up to the blond, his eyes wide in disbelief in what he just heard, but Draco was facing Hermione. "If you need me I'll be in my room okay?" Hermione nodded.

After Draco left the room Harry turned back to Hermione. "What was that all about?"

"Oh, he and I were just talking." Hermione said.

"Since when do you and Draco Malfoy 'just talk'?"

"Ever since… oh, well, that's none of your business! I'm sure you didn't come here to ask me about the people I talk with. What is it that you want Harry?" Hermione snapped.

"We miss you Hermione. We don't know why you avoid us. Why you don't want to hag out with us anymore. It's just not the same without you. We need you Hermione. I need you. How am I supposed to face Voldemort without your help?"

"You don't need my help with anything, Harry!" Hermione yelled. "You have all the power and knowledge and courage to face Voldemort and win without me! But I can't be around you guys anymore. At least not for a while. I don't want anything to happen again. I'm not as stable as I seem." Hermione said.

"What do you mean? What happened? Did Malfoy do something to you?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing.

"No, actually, he's the only one who keeps me sane. He's good for me right now. Just trust me, Harry. Please? I can't tell you anything right now. Maybe soon. Maybe not so soon. But whatever it was that we had that made us friends is lost right now. And I don't know how long it will be until we find it again or if we ever will again. I hope things aren't as lost as they seem, but right now I just need to heal Harry. In more ways than one. You'll be the first one to know when I'm okay again."

Harry nodded his head. "Ron and I love you so much Hermione. And we need you, but if this is what you need we'll give you some space. We're here for you though. Don't hesitate to come to us if you need us."

"Thank you, Harry. I am sorry that things had to be like this."

"I am too. Well, I guess that's it then. I'll let myself out." Harry said, and left.

Hermione got up and went over to Draco's room. He was lying on his bed, but sat up when he saw her.

"What happened? What did he want?" Draco asked.

Suddenly, Hermione started crying.

"What? What did he do?" Draco asked, angry.

"No, nothing like that. I just feel like I've broken up with a boyfriend or something. Well, in this case two, that I've had for almost seven years."

Draco held out his arms and she went and sat on his lap, wrapped her arms around him and cried on his shoulder. He hugged her back, whispering comforting words.

* * *

**Woot! How did you like that one? Chapter 7 should be up by this weekend at the latest! I'm trying to have the next chapter either done or almost done before I put up the chapter before it, but I didn't want to leave you with that last chapter just hanging where it was. I have a lot of school stuff to do today and tomorrow, so don't expect anything before this weekend. But I promise no later than that! So, while I finish chapter 7, go review! Because you love me and my story and I know you want more! Mwehehehe! lol.**  



	7. Addicted

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!

I'm so sorry this took so long to get out! I've been really busy this past week! I'll try to get the next chapter out in a week. Okay, um, so a lot of stuff happening in this chapter. I hope it's not too all over the plan or whatever. I just hope you like it.

The Game

Chapter 7: Addicted

Draco had Hermione by the hand and was dragging her into the Great Hall towards the Gryffindor table. In all his worry about her not cutting herself again he had forgotten to make sure that she was eating properly. It was dinnertime and there were quite a few students already eating. Some of them had turned to look at the scene.

Draco pointed to the empty seat across from Ron and Harry. Hermione had been on friendly terms with them since her talk with Harry, but it was more like they were just acquaintances.

"You will sit down and eat something! I'll be watching from the Slytherin table, so you had better eat." Draco commanded.

Hermione pulled her arm from his grip and sat down. "Okay, okay! Geez, Draco."

He turned to the two boys watching with amusement in their eyes. "You two are to make sure that she eats a decent meal!"

They laughed. "See, Hermione, we aren't the only ones!"

"Right then." Draco said, and left.

Hermione turned to get some food only to find that Harry and Ron had already piled her plate with food. "I can't possibly eat all of this you guys!" She exclaimed.

"Well, put some sort of dent into it and we'll be pleased." Ron said.

She sighed. "Fine." She picked up her fork and went to get a knife to cut the steak with, but found that she had no knife. Draco had swiped it when she wasn't looking.

"Anything wrong with your food, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"No, I have no knife to cut the steak with though." She said.

"Well, there's one next to you." He said, pointing.

The seat next to her was empty. She stared at the knife. It had seemed like an eternity since she had held a knife. Maybe she shouldn't. But what was the harm? She was just using it to cut her food. No big deal right? She glanced at the Slytherin table. Draco had been distracted for a moment and was looking away. Her hand reached out and grasped the handle. She picked it up and looked at it. It gleamed at hear: sharp, pointed.

"Hermione. It's just a knife. You look like you've never seen one before." Ron said, snapping her out of her trance.

Her eyes shot up to him, wide. She had the look of a deer caught in the headlights. Then her head snapped over to where Draco was.

He saw the knife in her hand and stood up and made his way over to her.

Stopping next to her he held out his hand. "Let me have that, Hermione. You know you're not supposed to have those."

She lowered her eyes and gave it to him. "How am I supposed to cut my steak?"

"Have one of those two do it." He pointed to Harry and Ron again. "Or I'll do it for you if you'd like."

"Alright, I'll get someone to do it for me."

Draco turned to Harry and Ron. "She's not allowed to use these, understand?"

Confused, they just nodded.

"Good." Draco said.

"How much longer, Draco?" Hermione whispered.

"I don't know."

"I'm not hungry anymore." Hermione said, pushing her plate away.

"Just eat a little bit for me. Please?" Draco begged.

She nodded. "I'll try."

"Thank you."

Hermione picked up her fork and tried to eat. She found that some of its taste had returned, but not fully. When she had convinced Ron and Harry that she had eaten enough of the food on her plate to "put some sort of dent into it" she left the Great Hall and went back to her room.

She tried to work on some homework, but her mind really wasn't into it. She couldn't concentrate. Things were just moving so fast and she couldn't keep up with it all. She was up, she was down, she never really knew what kind of mood she would be in when she woke up. Sometimes she would wake feeling okay, but something would happen and she would find herself in this dark hole again.

She was glad that Draco was there to comfort her. She found it so ironic that it was him she ended up turning to in her time of need. She was at the point that she really needed him in her everyday life. She would wake up thinking about him and fall asleep thinking about him.

And there he was again, slipping into her thoughts. She scolded herself. She was supposed to be doing her homework! But even then she knew she wouldn't get much further on it. She went to her c.d. player and picked out a c.d.: Kelly Clarkson. She skipped forward to track number six and hit play.

At the same moment Draco had just gotten back from dinner and was entering the Common Room. He heard the music and stopped to listen to it. Hermione was singing full out along with the song.

_It's like you're a drug  
It's like you're a demon I can't face down  
It's like I'm stuck  
It's like I'm running from you all the time  
And I know I let you have all the power  
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around  
It's like you're a leech  
Sucking the life from me  
It's like I can't breathe  
Without you inside of me  
And I know I let you have all the power  
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time_

Draco made his way upstairs when he found that he didn't recognize the song. The words struck him though and he wanted to see Hermione.

_It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me_

Draco opened the door to Hermione's room and leaned against the doorframe. She stopped singing when she noticed him. They stared at each other for a moment before Draco said, "Don't stop."

_In my thoughts_  
_In my dreams_  
_You've taken over me_

After hesitating for only a second Hermione began to sing again.

_It's like I'm not me_  
_It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm lost  
It's like I'm giving up slowly  
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me  
Leave me alone  
And I know these voices in my head  
Are mine alone  
And I know I'll never change my ways  
If I don't give you up now_

Draco moved towards Hermione and offered a hand. She took it and he moved her hands to his shoulders and his to her waist and they started to dance. Hermione continued to sing for Draco as they danced.

_It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me_

_I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this  
I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this_

At that moment Hermione looked up at Draco, everything she felt was there in her eyes telling him everything emotion. They begged for help. They begged for comfort. They begged for love.

_It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me_

The song ended and Hermione and Draco stayed where they were. Hermione was too exhausted to move and Draco didn't want to let her go.

"You sing beautifully, Hermione." Draco whispered. She smiled, softly, and laid her head against his chest.

* * *

There was one week left before the Christmas break. The students of Hogwarts grew more and more antsy as the last day approached. Hermione and Draco had been spending lots of time together. Hermione was finally eating again and the taste of food was getting more and more enjoyable. She would have thought that she was getting better if it weren't for the fact that she still craved to hold a knife again and to feel the stinging pain from its cut.

Everyday Draco tried to make Hermione smile at least once. He would only get the small ones from her though and they never reached her eyes. He was happy, at least, with the improvement of her eating habits.

Ron and Harry would be going back to the Burrow over the break and had extended the invitation to Hermione, but she said she just wanted to stay at Hogwarts. Draco would be staying at the school as well and she knew she would enjoy her holiday much more with him.

* * *

On the last Monday before the break, Hermione sat in Potions class, working hard on her potion. Professor Snape had continued to ignore her, which was perfectly all right with her. Ever since the incident, though, he hardly ever though of anything else. He had to know why she had come to him.

In the last few minutes of class he made his way over to her desk.

"Ms. Granger, will you please stay after class?" Snape asked, quietly so only she could hear.

Confused, Hermione just nodded. She waited at her desk while the other students left.

"Are you coming, Hermione?" Draco asked.

"Snape asked for me to stay after class." She said.

"Alright, I'll have your wand with me in Runes." Draco said, before leaving.

"Okay, thanks." She watched as he left the room.

"My office, if you please, Ms. Granger." Snape said, and headed through the door of his office. She followed. "Have a seat."

Hermione sat down as Snape took a seat behind his desk.

"Sir? I'm really confused. Have I done something wrong?" Hermione asked.

"Surely you can't have forgotten that it was me you came to that night." He said, bluntly, and she nodded. "I was just curious as to why you chose to come to me. If you're willing to talk about it that is. This is very out of character for me, but something like this has never happened to me and I just have to know why. Of all people, Ms. Granger, you chose me. I'm willing to bet that I'm your least favorite teacher."

Hermione thought on it for a moment before finally replying. "Well, I don't know really. Maybe that is why I came to you. I couldn't go to Ron or Harry. They sort of pushed me over the edge to make me do it. And I couldn't to Dumbledore and have him disappointed with me. I thought that if I came to you I'd get what I needed to hear. For you to yell at me and look at me the way you usually do. You know, something normal. Because nothing is normal anymore. It just felt right to come to you."

Snape nodded his head. "I suppose that makes sense. Well, I hope it doesn't happen again, Ms. Granger, but, and I must be out of my mind for saying this, I am here if you ever need to talk with someone or anything like that." He moved uncomfortably in his chair. This was all very awkward for him.

Hermione couldn't help but give a little smile. "Thanks, Professor. That means a lot. I should probably get to class now though."

"Oh, yes, of course. Here, I'll just write you a pass real quick." He scribbled something down on a sheet of paper and handed it her. "Here you are."

"Thank you." Hermione said, taking the note, and ran off to her next class.

* * *

Alright! Um, what do you think! Next chapter will be Christmas Break chapter! Lol! Hermione takes a step backwards in her road to recovery. Until next time, review! 


	8. In Control?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

The Game

Chapter 8: In Control?

It was the first day of the winter break. Hermione woke up early, not able to sleep any longer. Ever since her talk with Snape she had been thinking about what she had done. She was slowly sinking back into that black abyss. It killed her that her best friends were no longer her best friends. Even though they were apart of the reason she had lost control in the first place. Now they would be enjoying their break at the Burrow without her while she stayed behind at Hogwarts.

True, she had Draco now, and he was wonderful, but nothing could replace the friendship she had had with Ron and Harry. You couldn't just get over something like that in a few short months.

Since it was early, Hermione took her time getting ready. There was no use in rushing. At 9 o'clock she made her way down to the Great Hall. Not many students were up at this hour on their day off. There were a few younger students that she really didn't know and a few that she recognized.

Pansy Parkinson was sitting at the Slytherin table by herself. When she saw Hermione she waved her over.

"Hey, Hermione! Another early riser? How are you? You'll join me for breakfast won't you?" Pansy asked.

"Of course." Hermione sat down across from the Slytherin girl. "I didn't realize that you were staying here over the break as well."

"Oh, yeah. I'd rather stay here than go back home. Summer's enough home time for me. But enough about that, do you have any plans for the break? Maybe we can go down to Hogsmeade sometime before Christmas? I've still got some presents to buy." Pansy offered.

"That would be nice. I've got some things I have to get too." Hermione said.

"Great. How about tomorrow then?" Pansy asked.

"Tomorrow sounds good."

They were quiet as they ate their food, each girl lost in their own thoughts. When Pansy was finished, she said good-bye to Hermione and left the Great Hall. Hermione now sat alone at the Slytherin table.

That's when she noticed the knife next to her. She slowly turned to look about the Great Hall. The only teacher present was Professor Sprout, and she didn't know any of the students there. She turned back to the knife.

She picked it up and quickly left the Great Hall. She walked back to her room, her heart pounding loudly the whole way. She practically ran all the way into her room and locked the door, letting out a breath of relief. She hid the knife away planning on returning to it later.

She continued her day normally, or as normal as things could be. Draco woke up at lunchtime so Hermione went back to the Great Hall so that they could eat together. Hermione told Draco of her planned Hogsmeade trip with Pansy. He smiled and said he was glad she was getting along with his friends.

It was true, Hermione did enjoy hanging out with Draco's friends. She didn't spend as much time with them as she did with Draco, but if they did do something in a group it would be those four.

At the end of the day Hermione said good night to Draco and went to her room. She didn't have to wait long for Draco to go to his own room and get into bed. When she was positive that Draco was asleep, she made sure that the door was locked and got the knife from where it was hiding. Holding it up, she smiled at her victory. This time she was in control again.

For wanting her to get better they had sure gotten slack on their watch over her. She laughed silently at them for thinking that she was any better. Sure she was eating again and it was true she hadn't cut since the incident, but that didn't mean she was better. It just meant that she hadn't had anything to cut with and people where watching her as she ate.

This time she decided that instead of just cutting she would draw herself a little picture. Slowly, not all at once. That night she started with the head of the picture. It was almost an exact replica of the dragon's head on the hilt of the knife she had first cut with. The next time she would add the body and then the wings. When she was done it would be most beautiful indeed, she thought.

* * *

Hermione attempted to act the way she had been so that no one would suspect anything, but she couldn't help it. She saw drawing away from everyone again. She went to Hogsmeade with Pansy as planned and she had to admit that she had a good time, but after that she started keeping to herself. And Draco was noticing it. She would say she was tired and go to bed early, but Draco knew she didn't go to sleep right away because she was still awake when he went to bed. He started to get worried. He had gotten a little slack on his job to help her, but he thought she was better. He thought she had finally gotten past that. But maybe he was wrong. 

He worried about her. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her again. It made his heart ache just to think about her in such pain. But could he really feel so bad for her when she inflicted the pain onto herself? He would confront her then. He would demand that she show him her wrists, and then he would know.

It was a week later when Draco had finally caught on and decided to do this. Then he would watch her more closely.

They were in their Common Room that Monday night. It was a little after 10 o'clock when Hermione announced that she was going to bed.

"Hermione," Draco started. "Let's cut the bullshit. We both know that you're not going upstairs to go to bed."

Hermione had her back towards him and didn't turn around. "I don't know what you're talking about Draco. I'm tired, that's all, and I'd like to go to sleep." She started up the stairs.

"Hermione," Draco paused, only slightly, realizing he didn't know her middle name. "Granger! You come back here now and show me your wrists!" He demanded.

"No! You're not the boss of me, Draco Malfoy! You can't tell me what to do!" Hermione shouted, and started running up the stairs.

"Yeah, but I can make you!" He started after her. He had no problem catching her with his quick reflexes.

Hermione struggled against him. "You let me go! Right now! I can do what I want!"

Draco caught her arm and pushed the sleeve up. Sure enough there were cuts that were beginning to heal and some that were more healed than others. He was puzzled for a moment at the fact that it was in the shape of a dragon.

Hermione was crying now, leaning heavily against Draco. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her.

"Hush, love, it's okay. It will all be okay." He whispered into her hair.

"You don't know that." Hermione let out between sobs.

"Well, I can try to make it better." He said. "Here, let me heal this for you." He pulled out his wand to heal her wrist.

She shook her head and pulled her arm away from him. "No, I want to keep this one." She said, quietly.

"Why?" He asked, remembering what picture the cuts made.

"Because I think if I don't I'll never stop." She whispered.

Draco just nodded his head. "Okay."

They stood there for a few moments, Hermione leaning against Draco and Draco stroking her back, softly.

After a few minutes had pasted Hermione said, "Jane."

Draco looked down at her. "What?"

She smiled. "My middle name is Jane."

* * *

Later that night when Hermione was actually going to go to bed Draco followed her into her room. He told her that he had to search her room for any objects she could use to cut. She nodded, silently and he started his search. The knife was the only thing he found. 

Before he left for the comfort of his own bed he turned to her. "Maybe you should go talk with someone about this."

"I have you to talk to." She said.

"I know, but maybe it would be good for you to talk to a different person." He explained.

"I don't know, maybe. I'll think about it."

"Alright, good night then." He said.

"Night."

Hermione didn't fall asleep right away. She thought about what Draco had suggested. She wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to talk to someone else. What could it possibly do, but drag more people into this mess that she was in? Snape had offered to be there for her to talk with. She must be crazy to even think about talking to Snape about this! But he already knew about it so she wouldn't be dragging anyone else into her messed up life.

She thought on it until the small hours of the morning. She finally fell asleep and didn't wake up until well after lunchtime. By then she had made up her mind. She would talk to Snape even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

* * *

By Friday Hermione had gathered up enough courage to talk with Snape. Whoever said Gryffindors were courageous had never had to talk with a man like Severus Snape. 

It was after lunch. Hermione told Draco where she was going and headed towards the dungeons. She didn't know how likely it would be to find the Potions Master in his office but she tried there first. As luck would have it he was there. She knocked softly on the door and entered when she was told to.

Snape looked up at her and didn't respond at first. "Yes, Ms. Granger? Is there something you need?" He finally asked.

"Um," Hermione started. "Well, you said that, um, I could, um, come talk with you if I, um, needed to." She looked down at the floor waiting for his answer.

He stared at her and then nodded his head. "I suppose I did. Do you wish to talk then?"

Hermione nodded. "If you're not too busy."

"No, please, sit down." He said, pointing to the chair in front of his desk. Hermione did as she was told. "Now what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

And with that Hermione let everything out. Everything that was buried inside her was released and given to the Potions Master. She found that after she got past the initial nervousness that he was actually quite easy to talk to. He didn't say anything to her that put her down or made her feel bad. They ended up talking until dinnertime.

They stopped when Hermione's stomach growled. She blushed.

"I suppose it's time to eat." Snape said, lightly.

"Er, yes. Thank you, Professor, for letting me talk with you. I really needed that." Hermione said.

"Of course, Ms. Granger. Anytime." He said, and was surprised when he found that he really meant it. "You should go eat now. I will see you later, Ms. Granger."

"Okay, thanks again!" Hermione said, as she left his office. She met up with Draco and the gang in the Great Hall.

"How did it go?" Draco asked, as she sat down.

"Really well actually." She said.

"Really?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, we talked about everything that happened and I feel really better now. Thanks for suggesting that I talk to someone Draco. It really helped."

"Well, I'm glad." He said.

Hermione truly felt better. She felt like she had finally gotten over that bump and was on a better path now. She smiled, a true, genuine smile. Something she hadn't done in a very long time. She talked, and laughed with Draco's friends and enjoyed her dinner. That night she fell asleep happy and with a smile on her face.

* * *

**And end chapter 8! Um, not sure how I feel about this chapter. Tell me what you think!**  



	9. A Date? Or Two?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

**OMG! You guys I'm sooooooo sorry that it took me this long to update again! I feel really bad! But school's been crazy and all that lame stuff! But to make up for it this is my longest chapter yet! 10 pages on Microsoft Word! I hope you enjoy. Some happy stuff in this chapter. On with the story.**

* * *

The Game 

Chapter 9: A Date? Or Two?

Christmas Day arrived and Hermione woke to a bundle of presents at the end of her bed. Excited, she jumped to the end of the bed and picked one up. There was the usual hand made sweater from the Weasley's. Ron and Harry had gotten her a couple of books. There were a couple of other presents that she opened as well. The last one at the bottom of the pile was a smaller package. She picked up the card and read it.

It read: '_To Hermione. Merry Christmas. Love, Draco._'

She smiled to herself, wondering what he could have gotten her. She quickly tore the wrapping off of it and revealed a black velvet box inside. She opened the box. Inside was a silver charm bracelet with one charm attached. It was a silver dragon with emeralds for eyes. She put it on and admired it.

Hermione quickly got dressed and made her way to the Common Room to see if she could find Draco. He had brought all his gifts to the Common Room to open them. He had a cup of hot coco on the table next to him. Hermione sat down next to him where he sat on the floor in front of the fire.

"Thank you for my gift!" She exclaimed, hugging him. "It's beautiful." She said, showing him the bracelet hanging from her wrist.

"You like it?" He asked and she nodded. "I'm glad. I was just about to open yours." He picked up a nicely wrapped gift. Hermione sat back and anticipated his reaction. He tore off the wrapping and held up a book. "Figures." He smirked at her.

"Well, look at the title first before you go smirking at me." She scolded.

He looked down and read, "_The Dark Arts Outsmarted._"

"I thought it would help you against your father." Hermione whispered, staring at the fire. Draco was thumbing through the pages.

"Yeah. Yeah, this actually might help! Thanks Hermione! It's really great." He said, turning to her and giving her a big hug. Surprised, Hermione hugged him back.

"You're welcome." She said.

Draco piled all of his presents together. "You want to go down and eat some breakfast?" He asked.

Hermione smiled. "Sure."

* * *

Down in the Dungeons, Severus Snape had also woken up to a few Christmas presents. He got the usual from Dumbledore and only a few others from different people. This year however there was one more. Curious, he picked it up. The card attached to it read, '_To: Professor Snape. Happy Christmas! Love, Hermione Granger.' _His eyes widened. What could the Gryffindor student have possibly gotten him? He quickly opened it. Inside was a coffee mug. On it was man in black robes with a cauldron. It said, _'Coffee just isn't quite the same.'_

Severus Snape smiled.

* * *

The rest of the winter break went by peacefully. Hermione talked with Draco a lot more and once she was feeling more like her old self again he began to tell her about his upcoming problem with his father. Draco couldn't ignore the fact that the end of the year was coming a lot quicker than he wanted it to. Soon he would have to face his father and the Dark Lord. 

The first day back at school past in a blur. In Potions class, Hermione noticed that Professor Snape was using the coffee mug that she had gotten him. He no longer picked on her during class, but would just walk past her desk without a word.

Hermione saw Ron and Harry only in passing and waved to them. They smiled and waved back and continued on their way to their own class. She had been walking with Draco and he was curious about the relationship of the once 'Golden Trio.'

"Hermione?" He asked.

"Hmm?" She responded.

"Are you ever going to tell them?"

"Tell who what?" She asked.

"Tell Harry and Ron about what happened." Draco elaborated.

Hermione sighed. "Oh. Well, I don't know Draco. It's just so complicated. The night I had that fight with them, that fight, was what drove me to do what I did. How do I explain something like that to them? I've missed them, that's true, but I don't know if our friendship could ever be like it was."

"Then don't tell them that the fight made you do it. You didn't start because of that. You had been doing it way before then right?"

"Yeah, I guess I could do that."

"You do want them to be your friends again, don't you? You want it like it was before?" He asked.

"Yes, I do. They've been there for me since the beginning almost. It's so weird to not have them here for me now. At least you're here for me, Draco." Hermione smiled. Draco smiled back.

"Anytime."

They entered their Ancient Runes classroom and took their usual seats in the back. Before the class started Draco turned to Hermione.

"Hey, Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go with me to Hogsmeade on Saturday?" He asked.

Hermione turned to face him. "Like as in a date?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Hermione smiled again. "Sure, I'd love to."

"Great." Draco smiled.

* * *

Saturday came, and Hermione had yet to talk to Ron or Harry. She kept telling herself that she could just do it later. Always later. At any rate it was time for the trip to Hogsmeade. Draco and Hermione had walked down to the entrance of the school and waited as all of the students going arrived. 

Hermione stared at anything but the people around her. What would people think of her going to Hogsmeade with Draco? Not that she really cared what they thought, but it was still something going through her mind. That, and she was just nervous to actually be going out on a date with him! She had known that she had some feelings towards him that had been growing since the beginning of the year. Her heart was beating fast and she had butterflies in her stomach. It was like she had never been on a date before.

Draco stood close to her, feeling her nervousness. He pulled her around to face him and took her face in his hands.

"Calm down Hermione. Forget about them. What they think doesn't matter. Now, today we're going to forget about our parents, our friends, school, and everything else. It's just going to be you and me doing normal teenager things and having a good time together at Hogsmeade. What do you say?" He asked.

She smiled slightly. Who knew that Draco Malfoy would know her so well he could read her like a book?

"Alright." She said.

"Good." He said.

All the students had arrived and they were off to Hogsmeade. Hermione had to admit that she was excited.

They walked around to different stores, just looking and talking. Draco let Hermione go into a bookstore and look around, and Hermione in turn went into the Quidditch store for Draco.

They had just come out of the joke store and were laughing at some of the things they saw in there, when Hermione suddenly stopped in front of a store window.

Draco turned back around. "What is it?" He asked her.

"Those." She said, pointing to what was displayed in the window.

Draco walked to stand next to her and looked at what had caught Hermione's eye.

It was a pair of shoes. But not just any pair. They were white satin spiked heels. From the ankle strap hung five strands of diamonds in an upside-down pyramid and a strand went across the toes.

"They're gorgeous." Hermione whispered.

"Do you want them?" Draco asked.

"Well, of course I do! What kind of question is that? But I couldn't possibly afford them. Draco! Those are real diamonds!" She exclaimed.

"I can afford them. Come on, I'll buy them for you." Draco said, grabbing hold of her hand.

"Oh, no, Draco! I couldn't possibly let you spend that much money on me!" Hermione exclaimed. "Besides if I got them I wouldn't have any where to wear them, or anything to wear with them!"

"No, I want to get them for you. You could wear them to the Valentine's ball." He offered.

"I don't think I'll be going. Besides I don't have a date." She said.

"Well, then, would you like to be my date?" Draco asked.

Hermione stopped and stared at him, suddenly very aware of her hand in his.

"Oh, okay. Sure. I would love to." She smiled.

"Okay then! How about we go buy those shoes then?" He said.

"Alright!" Hermione cried out, giddy as a little girl.

They entered the store together, still hand-in-hand. A woman came to them right away.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Yes, could we get a pair of the shoes you have displayed in the window, in a size 7?" Draco asked.

"Certainly, sir. Please take a seat." The saleswoman said, and went to the back of the store to gather the shoes. Hermione and Draco sat.

"How did you know my shoe size?" Hermione asked, curious.

"I'm just good at these kind of things." Draco said. "After this I know the perfect place to get a dress to match. My treat too of course."

"Draco! The shoes are even too much! My parents did leave me some money. I'm not some poor orphan you know!"

"I know. I just feel like being generous. This doesn't happen that often, so I wouldn't pass it up if I were you." He said.

"Fine." Hermione gave in, but still, on the inside she was really excited.

The saleswoman returned with the shoes and Hermione tried them on.

"Oh, Draco! They're perfect! Thank you so much!" Hermione threw her arms around him and a big hug.

Draco hugged her back. "You're welcome."

Later that day, after they had gotten the shoes and a dress, they sat in the Three Broomsticks sipping on Butterbeer.

"Draco this has been really fun. And thank you so much for the shoes and the dress! I don't know how I can repay you!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Well, you're going with me to the Ball. That's enough for me. But if you really want to pay me back there is something that you could do that would be enough repayment." He said.

"Yeah? What?" She asked.

Draco looked at her very seriously. "You can talk to Harry and Ron."

Hermione stared at him and didn't say anything for a moment. "Seriously?"

"Totally."

"Oh, well, I suppose. I guess I should do it anyway."

"This week. Before next weekend I want you to have talked with them." He told her.

"Okay, I'll do it." She said.

"Good. You ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think I am."

"Alright." He stood up and gathered the bags that contained her things. Then they left the Three Broomsticks and headed back towards the school. They didn't say anything, but Draco's hand slowly made its way into Hermione's. She gave his hand a squeeze and they walked the rest of the way holding hands.

* * *

It was Monday evening after dinner. Hermione found herself making the journey up to the Gryffindor tower. She didn't feel ready to confront Ron and Harry, but she knew she had to. And she had promised Draco that she would do it before the week was over. Better to just get it over with. 

After giving the Fat Lady the password she quietly entered the Gryffindor Common Room and looked around. There were only a few students there including Harry who was sitting on the couch in front of the fire. He looked up as she entered and smiled.

Hermione made her way over to the couch and stood in front of him.

"Hello Harry." She said, quietly.

"Hi Hermione. What brings you to the Gryffindor Common Room?" He asked, curious. She hadn't really come to the Common Room in the past few months.

"Well, I need to talk with you and Ron. Is he here?" She asked.

"No," Harry said. "He has detention with Professor Snape tonight."

"Oh." Hermione said.

"You could talk with me." Harry offered.

"Yeah, I suppose. That just means I'll have to say this twice though. It won't be easy." She said. "Can we go somewhere a little more private?"

"Sure, Hermione. Is everything okay?" He asked, standing up.

"Um, yeah, I just have to tell you guys something." She said, nervously.

Together they left the Common Room and walked through the halls of Hogwarts in silence. They finally found a quiet hallway with an empty classroom and entered it. Harry sat down at one of the desks while Hermione nervously walked about the front of the room.

After another few moments of silence had passed Harry finally spoke up. "Hermione? You're making me nervous. What is this about?"

She stopped walking. Then she turned and looked him straight in the eye. "I have to tell you guys. About what happened to me. Or really, what I did to myself. Harry I—well last summer… it started last summer. I was so sad, Harry, so depressed. You have to understand that."

"Hermione, now you're just scaring me. What happened?" Harry asked, anxiously.

Hermione didn't say anything right away. She turned her head away from him. Then she reached down to her left sleeve and pulled it up. She held her arm out to him so that he could see all of the white scars that stood out on her otherwise perfect flesh. She heard him gasp and she looked up to meet his eyes. His green eyes were wide and unbelieving.

"Oh, Hermione…" He whispered, as he reached out a hand to her arm.

She quickly rolled her sleeve back down. "One day when we were cleaning at Headquarters, I found this knife. For a day or two it just sat in my room. I would look at it and then put it away. Then one day, I took it out to look at it and it found its way to my wrist. It started out slowly and it hurt at first, but then I got used to the pain. I started to crave it. It only got worse. When we got back to school I continued to cut. Then one day I lost control. It was like it wasn't me that was cutting myself anymore. When I was doing it, it was like I was on the outside watching someone cutting me. Over and over until the amount of blood I lost and the pain finally registered in my brain. I didn't know what to do. So, I went to the last person I thought I would have gone to. I went to Professor Snape." Harry's eyes widened. "That's not the end of it. Once I had gotten to his office I showed him my wrist and then I fainted on him. He took me to the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey healed me. When I woke up, Draco Malfoy was sitting by my bed. He had been given the job of keeping my wand and watching me so that I wouldn't cut anymore." She stopped there, not knowing if she should continue or let Harry say something.

He didn't for a moment. Then he looked back to her. "And did he help?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, for awhile. Then at the beginning of the winter holidays I had a relapse. It had been so hard and I really tried to get better. Everyone thought I was better. That's why Draco had gotten a little slack in helping me get better. I mean I don't blame him or anything. He was the one who has helped me the most to get back to my normal self. I'm doing a lot better now Harry. So much better."

Harry stood up and when to her. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm glad. I'm glad you told me this Hermione." He felt her nodded her head and hugged her tighter. "I saw you at Hogsmeade with Malfoy. You looked really happy. Now I know I don't like him, but I can see that he has helped you and I haven't seen you smile like that in so long, so I'll try to except him, if only for your sake."

"Thanks, Harry. That means a lot to me. I don't really know what is going to happen between me and Draco, but we have gotten a lot closer since the beginning of the year. He's needed me just as much as I've needed him." Hermione said.

"Well, whatever does happen, I just hope that you're happy and that you'll be okay. If you ever feel like doing anything like this again," He said, touching her arm. "Know that I'll be here for you. I don't want you to go through something like that ever again."

Hermione smiled. "Oh, Harry, I've missed you. And Ron too. I wish he were here, so I didn't have to go through this twice. It's been so hard to not have you guys around."

Harry was again silent for a while as a thought passed through his mind. "Hermione, why did you feel that you had to distance yourself from me and Ron?"

Hermione looked up at him and then looked away. "Please don't ask me that, Harry." She whispered.

"Hermione?" Harry whispered. "When was it that you lost control and had to go to the Hospital Wing? When did that happen?"

A tear slid down Hermione's face. She didn't want to have to tell him that. She finally had one of her best friends back. She didn't want to have that detail between them. She wanted to keep it from him so he wouldn't hurt. She shook her head. "Please don't make me answer that." She begged.

Harry took Hermione by the shoulders and looked at her hard. "Hermione, you can tell me. I can take it. I want to know. I need to know."

A sob escaped Hermione's lips. "It—it happened the night I had that fight with you and Ron." She said, as she started to cry.

"Oh, Merlin, Hermione." Harry said, and pulled her into a hug again. She wrapped her arms around him and cried.

"It wasn't your fault, Harry." She said, into his chest. "Or Ron's. It was just a bad day. A really bad day added onto all of the other bad days. I just couldn't take it anymore. Please don't think that you guys were responsible for what I did."

"No, no, of course not. It just makes me mad at myself for not being a better friend. If I had been a true friend I would have seen that you in more pain than you let on. You were right in cutting us off from you. We weren't doing our jobs as your friends. But we'll be here for you now 'Mione. Won't we Ron?" Harry asked the redhead who had just opened the door.

Hermione turned around. "Ron."

"Hi guys. I heard talking coming from in here, so I decided to check it out. Did I miss something?" Ron asked, looking from Harry to Hermione. Upon seeing Hermione's face and the tears that stained it he entered the room. "Is everything all right Hermione?"

"Oh, Ron." She cried, and ran to him, throwing her arms around him. "I wanted to tell you and Harry everything! But I could only find Harry. You were in detention, but I can tell you now. I'm tired of not having you guys in my life. I want you to be my friends again."

"We'll always be your friends 'Mione." Ron said. "What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"I—Ron, last summer I started cutting myself." She said, getting straight to the point. It was getting easier to talk about it.

"What?" Ron asked.

Hermione rolled her sleeve back up to show him her scars. "The night I had that fight with you and Harry, well it had been a really bad day and I lost control. I went too far. I had to go to see Madame Pomfrey. She healed me, but I was still vulnerable. Draco was given the responsibility of helping me get better. That's why I had to cut myself off from you and Harry for a while. Not because you were to blame for it. You aren't. I just need time to heal and get better. I'm better now, Ron. And I don't know how much longer I can keep myself away from you and Harry. I need you guys. I've missed you both so much. I don't want to keep you away anymore."

"Oh, my God, Hermione. Why did you never tell us? All summer you did this? And we were so blind that we couldn't see. I'm so sorry, Hermione. Harry was right; we weren't doing our jobs as your friends. Can you ever forgive us?"

"Of course, Ron. I already have." Hermione said, through the tears falling down from her eyes. She kept one arm around Ron and held out the other one to Harry. He came over and she hugged the two boys. They held her, just like they had at the train station. And she cried again, but this time for a different reason. She had her best friends back. And she was better. Everything was better.

They stayed like that for some time before the broke apart.

"Do you guys want to come hang out in my Common Room?" Hermione asked. "It's pretty early and I'm sure we've got a lot to catch up on."

The two boys smiled. "Sure, that would be great!" Harry said.

"Alright," Hermione said. "Let's go."

And they did have a lot to catch up on. When they entered the Head's Common Room, Draco peeked his head out into the Common Room. He smiled when he saw that Hermione was once again with her best friends.

* * *

**Whew! Next chapter I'll add some dialogue between the 'Golden Trio' in the Common Room, but I just felt that this was a good place to end it. I can't promise anything, but will try really hard to update sooner! We're nearing the end, but there are still a few chapters left in this. I really don't know. I'm kind of writing it as I go now. Until the next chapter then. Go review!**


	10. Something Blossoming

I know, I know! It's been months and I feel terrible that I've made you wait this long! But it really did take me that long to finish this! So, I'm not making any more promises about when the next chapter is going to be because that's not fair to you. I hope that this is good enough to hold you over until the next one! 2nd term is almost over so I've got a performance and exams coming up, but I'm going to get started on the next chapter as soon as possible! Until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't plan to, don't sue…

* * *

The Game

Chapter 10: Something Blossoming

"So, Malfoy's not a Death Eater?" The question had finally come up. Harry had asked it.

The three of them, Hermione, Ron and Harry, were still sitting in the Head's Common Room, talking. It was nearing midnight and they still had things that hadn't been talked about yet. The first couple of hours had been spent with Hermione talking about what had happened during the summer and the beginning of school. The subject had then turned to her new relationship with Draco and how he had changed.

"No, he's not. In fact he was supposed to have his initiation last summer, but somehow he convinced his father to put it off until after school was over. He's just hoping that you will kill Voldemort before he has to go through with the initiation." Hermione informed. "And his friends don't want to join Voldemort either. You've seen how they've changed this year haven't you? They've stopped pretending to be what they were supposed to be. What they've changed into is the real them."

"Yeah, I did notice that." Harry said. "Wow. This is all so unbelievable."

"I know." Hermione said.

A voice interrupted them. "Do you kids know what time it is? Some of us have school in the morning." The three of them turned around to see Draco standing at the bottom of the stairs, smirking.

"Since when do you care, Draco?" Hermione asked, smirking right back. "Stop being anti-social and come join us."

Draco's smirk turned into a real smile. "Oh, I suppose. But being anti-social if so much fun!" He said, sarcastically, and then his face turned serious. "So, I'm guessing you've talked to them about everything?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. Now we can talk about happier things." Draco said, walking into the Common Room and sitting down. He turned to face the other two boys in the room. "Now I know the history that we have between us is not that great, but I want you to know that I never really hated you guys. I am willing to start over and try to be friends if you want to." Draco confessed.

Hermione's heart fluttered as he said this and she couldn't help but smile. Her two best friends and the guy she was really starting to like becoming friends? She could live with it.

Harry and Ron looked at each other and then to Hermione and saw her smiling. They nodded their heads.

"That sounds good." They said.

"Excellent." Draco said.

"So," Harry started. "Hermione told us about the situation you're having with your father and the Death Eaters."

"Oh, she did, did she?" Draco said.

"I hope you don't mind." Hermione said. "I thought it would be okay."

"Yeah, it's alright I suppose." Draco told her.

"What do you suppose you're going to do about it?" Ron asked.

Draco sighed. "There's only one solution. I will have to kill my father." Hermione gasped. "It's the only way. Either kill him or die trying."

"You can't really be serious!" Hermione exclaimed. "Surely there's another way?"

"There isn't." Draco said. "I have to do it, Hermione. When the time comes for the final battle I will face my father if it's the last thing I do. I will not become what he wants me to be. I cannot join the Dark Lord."

"Well, we'll help, mate." Harry said. "Whatever we can do just ask."

Draco smiled. "Thanks." Then he let out a small laugh. "Wow, who would have thought that I would ever being thanking the great Harry Potter?" He laughed again.

Harry laughed too. "Hey, I'm not that great."

Draco gave him a look.

"Okay, yeah, I am pretty great aren't I?" Harry said, laughing.

Hermione grabbed a pillow off the couch and hit Harry with it. "Harry!"

Everyone was laughing now. "Okay, okay, Hermione!" Harry said, holding his hands up. Hermione hit him one last time.

She sat back on the couch and stifled a yawn. Draco caught it though. "Maybe it's time we all went to bed." He said.

The boys, both realizing how tired they were as well, nodded. "That sounds like a good idea." Harry said. He and Ron stood up to leave. They each gave Hermione a hug.

"'Night 'Moine." Harry said. "I'm glad to have you back."

Hermione smiled. "It's nice to be back." She turned to Ron and received a hug from him. "Good night, Ronald."

He made a face. "Please don't call me that!" Hermione laughed. "Good night, 'Moine."

Draco and Hermione stayed where they were until the picture frame had closed.

"Time for bed then?" Draco asked.

"Yes." Hermione said, nodding her head.

Draco bent his arm and offered his elbow to Hermione. She giggled and placed her hand in the crook of his arm. The ascended the stairs to their bedrooms together. At the door to Hermione's room they stopped.

"Well, good night Hermione." Draco said.

Hermione reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Draco responded my wrapping his arms around her waist, returning the hug. "Good night, Draco. Sweet dreams." She said, smiling.

He smiled back. "You too." He then turned to go to his own room while Hermione went into her own bedroom. She collapsed onto her bed, not bothering with changing into her pajamas. She sighed and smiled. For a long time she had thought she could never be happy again, but here she was smiling and her heart fluttering in her chest. She still missed her parents and there was still a small hole in her heart that probably wouldn't leave for some time, but she knew that she was healing now and that made her feel even better.

Her cravings to cut would come back occasionally, but not as strong as they had once been, and they were easier to ignore now. She could hardly believe that it was only a month ago that she had last cut. It had felt like such a long time ago. She wasn't sure what the future held for her at the moment, but she did know that where she was now was a good place to be.

With this last thought she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning feeling refreshed and rested. She got out of bed and opened the curtains to see the sun making its way over the horizon. She got ready for the day putting on her school uniform and her robe. She grabbed her book bag and left her room.

Draco was exiting his own room as she closed her door. She turned to him and smiled.

"Morning." He said, smiling back.

"Good morning. Going to breakfast?" She asked. He nodded. "Me too."

"Well, then let us go." He said, gesturing towards the stairs.

They walked together to the Great Hall. As they entered Draco looked over to the Slytherin table.

"Figures." He said.

"Hmm?" Hermione looked at him.

"My friends are too lazy to get up for breakfast." He informed.

Hermione let out a laugh. "Would you like to join me for breakfast then?" She asked, pointing to the Gryffindor table where Harry and Ron were already stuffing their faces.

Draco hesitated for a moment looking at the Gryffindor table, and then back at Hermione. "Oh, well, I suppose I could."

"Sure you could." Hermione told him, and grabbing his arm, pulled him along with her to the table. She sat down across from Harry and after another second's hesitation Draco sat next to her across from Ron.

"Good morning." Hermione greeted the two boys. Looking up at her they actually remembered to swallow their food before speaking.

"Morning, Hermione." Harry said. "Malfoy?" He added, finally realizing that he was sitting at the table with them.

"His friends aren't here yet so I asked him to sit with us." Hermione informed.

"Oh, I see. Well, good morning to you too, Malfoy." Harry said. "Or would you rather us call you Draco?"

"I guess it doesn't matter." Draco said, filling his plate with food.

They continued eating breakfast in silence. Draco got many strange looks from other students, but he didn't notice. Once they were finished they gathered their things and left together. They all had Defense Against the Dark Arts together that morning.

The day continued without anything too out of the ordinary happening. Hermione enjoyed her classes much more now that she had Harry and Ron back. That evening she returned to the Common Room she shared with Draco and collapsed on the couch. The fire was blazing in front of her giving her a peaceful feeling and relaxing her. A few minutes later Draco entered and upon seeing Hermione sat down in the armchair.

"Long day?" He asked.

"It wasn't too bad. But still long I suppose. Yours?" She asked. After DADA she hadn't seen him the rest of the day.

"Kind of boring." He replied.

They were both silent for a few moments, drifting off into their own thoughts. Draco's thoughts soon turned to Hermoine. After studying Hermoine's face he asked, "What are you thinking about?"

She didn't answer right away. Finally, she replied, "Everything."

Draco nodded his head. Then he whispered, "Are you happy?"

Hermoine turned her head to face him and smiled. "I'm happier than I was a month ago, that's for sure. I'm getting there though."

"Good." Draco said, smiling.

After another seconds pause Hermoine groaned. "I've got so much homework to do, but I just can't make myself get up to do it."

"I know, me too." Draco said. He forced himself to stand up and stood in front of Hermoine, holding his hands out to her. "Come on. We'll do our homework together."

"Oh, fine." Hermoine sighed, but she was smiling. She took hold of his hands and he helped her to stand up. She stood in front of him and he kept hold of her hands. Hermoine looked up at him. He was smiling at her. "What?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing." He said, and let go of her hands reluctantly.

They gathered their school supplies and sat at the table in the study part of their Common Room. They worked diligently for about forty-five minutes before Hermoine sighed and set her quill down.

"Time for a break?" Draco asked, setting his quill down as well.

"Definitely." Hermoine said, stretching her arms up over her head. She reached down into her book bag and pulled out a folder. "This is the 7th year's plans for the Valentine's Ball. Do you want to go over it?"

"They're already done with planning it?" Draco asked, surprised.

"Yeah, they told me that they wanted to outdo the 5th and 6th years, so they've been doing a little bit ever since we assigned it to them." Hermoine informed.

"Awesome! It must be bloody brilliant! Sure, let's look over it. It should be more fun than homework anyways."

"Totally." Hermoine said, moving her chair closer to Draco and opening the folder, removed its contents.

After looking the plans over Hermoine and Draco decided that it was going to be the best ball so far of the year. The 7th years had thought of everything and the Head Boy and Girl were really proud of their classmates. Hermoine was really excited about the ball. She knew that she was going to have a wonderful time with Draco.

They both returned to their homework. Soon it was nearing ten o'clock and Hermione noticed her eyes starting to grow heavy. She covered a yawn with her hand and decided that it was time to go to bed. The late night before was catching up with her. She collected her things and stood up.

"I'm off to bed." She told Draco.

"Alright. Hey, I'll go up with you. Just let me clean my stuff up." Draco said.

Hermione waited while he put his school things back in his book bag. When he was done they both walked upstairs for bed.

"Good night, Hermione." Draco said.

"Good night." She said, smiling. She was turning the knob on the door when Draco called out her name.

Draco had turned back towards her and was standing very close. Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat and she couldn't find her voice to say anything.

After a few moments of silence Hermione finally found her voice enough to ask, "Draco?" It came out as a quiet whisper.

"Well, I was just…" He started, but couldn't find the words. Why had he called out her name? Just what was he planning by doing that? All he knew was that his heart was racing and he was nervous. He didn't know what to do because he had never really experienced these feelings before.

He stepped closer to her and suddenly his lips where on hers and he found himself surprised that she was kissing him back.

Draco had known for some time that he was developing feelings for Hermione, but he wasn't sure if he should act on them or not. With everything that she had been going through he didn't know if it would be appropriate or not. But he couldn't resist anymore. He had never felt this way about a girl before and it fascinated him.

The kiss ended and the two of them just stood in the hall in silence not knowing what to do next and not wanting to end the moment.

Finally, Hermione smiled. "Good night." She said, softly.

Draco was confused. Maybe they should talk about this? Why was she just leaving it as it was? "But…" Hermione put a finger against the lips that she had just kissed.

"We'll talk tomorrow." She said.

"Okay." Draco smiled at her. "Good night then." He said, pulling her to him again for a quicker kiss this time. "Sweet dreams."

Hermione smiled. Draco stood in the hall as she opened her door and went into her room. He didn't move until she had shut the door. He knew the smile on his lips was a goofy one, but at that moment he couldn't have cared less. He had just kissed the most beautiful woman in the world and she had kissed him back. He was in Heaven.

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Wow! 10 Chapters! Exciting! Until next time then, review! 


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